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(HYDRAULIC BRAKES HISS)

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00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:34,459
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

3
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(MUSIC CONTINUES)

4
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MAN:<i> Like we</i>
<i>discussed yesterday,</i>

5
00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:05,787
<i>I really want you all to focus</i>
<i>on topic sentences more.</i>

6
00:01:05,822 --> 00:01:08,295
<i>Too many of you</i>
<i>are rushing into examples</i>

7
00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:09,890
<i>in your body paragraphs.</i>

8
00:01:09,925 --> 00:01:11,760
<i>It'd be good for everyone</i>
<i>to review</i>

9
00:01:11,795 --> 00:01:13,696
<i>the paragraph structure PDF</i>
<i>I sent you</i>

10
00:01:13,731 --> 00:01:15,236
<i>a few weeks ago.</i>

11
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<i>I know these rules</i>
<i>can feel constraining.</i>

12
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<i>But remember,</i>
<i>the point of this course</i>

13
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<i>is to learn how to write</i>
<i>clearly and persuasively.</i>

14
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<i>That's how you can</i>
<i>effectively communicate</i>
<i>your ideas.</i>

15
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(MESSAGE ALERT PINGS)

16
00:01:30,913 --> 00:01:32,346
(MAN CHUCKLES)

17
00:01:32,381 --> 00:01:35,454
<i>Chris, I imagine</i>
<i>that was supposed to be</i>
<i>a private chat</i>

18
00:01:35,489 --> 00:01:38,292
<i>that you sent</i>
<i>to the whole class.</i>
<i>Well done.</i>

19
00:01:38,327 --> 00:01:42,494
<i>And, yes, the camera</i>
<i>on my laptop</i>
<i>still doesn't work.</i>

20
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<i>Believe me,</i>
<i>you're not missing much.</i>

21
00:01:44,231 --> 00:01:47,334
<i>Oh, and for those of you</i>
<i>who still haven't</i>
<i>given me paper three,</i>

22
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<i>I need it by Wednesday,</i>
<i>no exceptions.</i>

23
00:01:51,307 --> 00:01:53,074
<i>And remember,</i>

24
00:01:53,109 --> 00:01:56,310
<i>-the more you revise</i>
<i>these essays, the better.</i>
<i>-</i> (WAVES CRASHING)

25
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:57,872
<i>The more you change,</i>

26
00:01:57,907 --> 00:02:00,743
<i>chances are you'll express</i>
<i>your thoughts and ideas</i>

27
00:02:00,778 --> 00:02:02,382
<i>more clearly</i>
<i>and persuasively.</i>

28
00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:04,351
<i>All right?</i>

29
00:02:04,914 --> 00:02:06,386
(WAVE CRASHED LOUDLY)

30
00:02:13,362 --> 00:02:14,592
(MAN GRUNTS)

31
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(RAIN PATTERING)

32
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(GROANS)

33
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(HEAVY BREATHING)
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)

34
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,244
(MEN ON VIDEO
BREATHING HEAVILY)

35
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,313
(MAN GRUNTS)
(STROKING RAPIDLY)

36
00:02:32,348 --> 00:02:33,479
Oh!

37
00:02:33,514 --> 00:02:35,811
(GRUNTING)

38
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:40,321
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)

39
00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:45,590
(GRUNTING LABORIOUSLY)

40
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,625
(COUGHS, BREATHES HEAVILY)

41
00:02:49,398 --> 00:02:54,467
(GASPING AND COUGHING)

42
00:02:54,502 --> 00:02:59,406
<i>"Moby Dick...</i> (WHEEZES)
In the amazing book,
<i>Moby..."</i> (GROANS)

43
00:02:59,441 --> 00:03:01,441
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Liz?

44
00:03:01,476 --> 00:03:02,970
(PANTS)
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

45
00:03:03,005 --> 00:03:06,006
Just use your key,
(WHEEZES) open the door!

46
00:03:07,977 --> 00:03:09,911
(GASPS)
Oh, my God.

47
00:03:09,946 --> 00:03:11,946
Who are you?
(GROANS IN PAIN)

48
00:03:11,981 --> 00:03:15,048
Gosh, are you okay?
Should I call an ambulance?
I should call an am...

49
00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:17,589
(MEN PANTING)
(CONTINUES GROANING)

50
00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:20,295
Read this to me.
Do you have a phone?

51
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,362
My phone's dead,
I need to...

52
00:03:21,397 --> 00:03:22,891
Please just read it!
Okay!

53
00:03:24,092 --> 00:03:25,564
(GRUNTS)
Okay.

54
00:03:25,599 --> 00:03:27,099
(GROANS)

55
00:03:27,134 --> 00:03:29,062
"In the amazing book,
<i>Moby Dick,</i> by the author,
Herman Melville,

56
00:03:29,097 --> 00:03:31,537
"the author recounts his story
of being at sea.

57
00:03:31,572 --> 00:03:33,968
"In the first part
of his book, the author,
calling himself Ishmael,

58
00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:35,069
"is in a small seaside town,

59
00:03:35,104 --> 00:03:37,873
"and he is sharing a bed
with a man named Queequeg."

60
00:03:37,908 --> 00:03:39,072
What is this?
Why am I reading this?

61
00:03:39,107 --> 00:03:41,514
I need to...
Just read any of it!

62
00:03:41,549 --> 00:03:43,813
"And I felt saddest of all
when I read
the boring chapters

63
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,114
"that were only
descriptions of whales,

64
00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:47,421
"because I knew
that the author
was just trying to save us

65
00:03:47,456 --> 00:03:48,489
"from his own sad story..."

66
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:50,325
(GASPING) Sad story.
"...just for a little while."

67
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,526
Just for a little while.

68
00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:53,559
"This book made me think
about my own life...
(WHEEZES)

69
00:03:53,594 --> 00:03:55,429
"...and then it made me
feel glad for my..."

70
00:03:55,464 --> 00:03:57,794
(PANTING)

71
00:03:57,829 --> 00:04:00,500
Did that help?
(SIGHS)

72
00:04:00,535 --> 00:04:02,403
Look, do you have a phone?
My phone is dead.

73
00:04:02,438 --> 00:04:04,031
I need to call an ambulance.

74
00:04:04,066 --> 00:04:07,034
You need help.
I don't go to hospitals.

75
00:04:07,069 --> 00:04:10,004
I can't help you, I don't...
I don't go to hospitals.

76
00:04:11,414 --> 00:04:15,009
I am sorry, um...
You can go.

77
00:04:15,044 --> 00:04:16,648
Thank you
for reading that to me.

78
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:23,919
Are you sure you're okay?

79
00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:27,824
I'm sorry, who are you?

80
00:04:29,498 --> 00:04:30,992
Are you acquainted
with the Gospel
of Jesus Christ?

81
00:04:31,027 --> 00:04:34,094
What?
I'm sharing
Christ's message of love,

82
00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:35,964
and I'm showing people...
(SIGHING) Oh.

83
00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:37,504
Think I should call my friend.

84
00:04:37,539 --> 00:04:40,639
She's a nurse,
she takes care of me.

85
00:04:40,674 --> 00:04:44,005
Yeah. Yeah, I'll go.
Sorry to bother you.
Wait.

86
00:04:45,547 --> 00:04:46,942
My phone fell under there,
can you...

87
00:04:50,618 --> 00:04:51,749
Yeah, sure.

88
00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:55,687
(SIGHS)

89
00:05:02,696 --> 00:05:03,827
(SIGHS)
Here it is.

90
00:05:03,862 --> 00:05:04,861
(GROANS IN PAIN)

91
00:05:08,999 --> 00:05:10,570
(MAN GRUNTS)

92
00:05:10,605 --> 00:05:12,407
Hey, listen, I don't know
what's gonna happen

93
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:14,068
in the next few minutes.

94
00:05:14,103 --> 00:05:16,807
If you don't mind,
could you... (GRUNTS)

95
00:05:16,842 --> 00:05:18,941
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Thank you.

96
00:05:20,549 --> 00:05:21,911
(PHONE LINE RINGING)

97
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,850
(AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING)
<i>It's Liz. I'm not around.</i>
<i>Leave a message.</i>

98
00:05:29,217 --> 00:05:31,591
What was that thing
that you had me read to you?

99
00:05:33,122 --> 00:05:34,121
It's an essay.

100
00:05:34,992 --> 00:05:36,398
It's my job.

101
00:05:37,225 --> 00:05:39,566
I teach online
college courses.

102
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:40,963
But why did you have me
read it to you?

103
00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:46,639
Because I thought
I was dying.

104
00:05:46,674 --> 00:05:48,872
And I wanted to hear it
one last time.

105
00:05:53,175 --> 00:05:54,977
(VELCRO RIPS)

106
00:05:55,012 --> 00:05:56,880
You should have called
an ambulance.

107
00:05:56,915 --> 00:05:58,915
With no health insurance?

108
00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:00,851
Being in debt
is better than being dead.

109
00:06:01,656 --> 00:06:02,655
What's wrong with you?

110
00:06:03,856 --> 00:06:05,691
Why is there
a missionary here?

111
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,123
Someone left
the door unlocked.

112
00:06:09,158 --> 00:06:10,795
I left after
you fell asleep earlier,

113
00:06:11,963 --> 00:06:13,061
I must've forgotten.

114
00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:16,867
Good thing, too.
If I hadn't, you might have...

115
00:06:16,902 --> 00:06:18,231
Liz, I don't like it when you...

116
00:06:18,266 --> 00:06:20,475
Okay, okay.
I just hate the thought

117
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,939
of you being sealed up
in this place
when I'm not here.

118
00:06:22,974 --> 00:06:25,106
(PUMPING SPHYGMOMANOMETER
BULB)
Now shut up, I'm trying to...

119
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:33,048
(RELEASES PRESSURE)
(AIR HISSING)

120
00:06:34,623 --> 00:06:35,853
What?
Hush.

121
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:41,991
Tell me what you felt.

122
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:44,796
Pain, in my chest.

123
00:06:44,831 --> 00:06:45,929
Hard to breathe.

124
00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:48,063
I couldn't intake air.

125
00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:51,264
(RIPS VELCRO)

126
00:06:51,299 --> 00:06:53,937
How are you sleeping?
I'm not, really.

127
00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:58,546
Lean forward.

128
00:07:00,616 --> 00:07:01,780
(SIGHS)

129
00:07:02,717 --> 00:07:03,848
(MAN WHEEZES)

130
00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:07,753
You're wheezing.

131
00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:09,722
I always wheeze, Liz.

132
00:07:09,757 --> 00:07:10,954
You're wheezing more.

133
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,857
Deep breath.

134
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:15,497
(BREATHES DEEPLY
WITH DIFFICULTY)

135
00:07:16,863 --> 00:07:18,665
That hurt?

136
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,765
What was my blood pressure?

137
00:07:21,967 --> 00:07:24,033
Two-hundred and thirty-eight
over 134.

138
00:07:29,942 --> 00:07:31,546
(CHUCKLING) Oh.

139
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:32,679
Yeah. "Oh."

140
00:07:34,650 --> 00:07:35,649
(SIGHS)

141
00:07:36,146 --> 00:07:37,412
Hey, could you...

142
00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:39,785
I haven't been
to the bathroom all day,
I'm ready to explode.

143
00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:53,128
(GRUNTS)

144
00:07:54,901 --> 00:07:56,637
(EXHALES DEEPLY)

145
00:08:06,308 --> 00:08:07,945
(DRAWS CURTAIN)
(LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS)

146
00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:16,624
(TRASH CAN LID CLOSES)

147
00:08:16,659 --> 00:08:18,659
(SIGHS)

148
00:08:18,694 --> 00:08:20,562
(MAN GRUNTS)
LIZ: You need help in there?

149
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,191
MAN: No, I'm fine. Sorry.

150
00:08:23,996 --> 00:08:25,600
What are you sorry about?

151
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,801
I'm sorry. I don't know.
Just sorry.

152
00:08:28,836 --> 00:08:30,165
MISSIONARY: I should go.
LIZ: Thank you.

153
00:08:31,234 --> 00:08:33,234
You must be from New Life.

154
00:08:33,269 --> 00:08:35,104
You know Doug,
from the church council?

155
00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:38,008
Yeah, I think so?

156
00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:39,339
I'm not entirely sure.

157
00:08:39,374 --> 00:08:40,615
I'm sort of new here, so...

158
00:08:41,013 --> 00:08:42,078
He's my dad.

159
00:08:44,049 --> 00:08:46,280
Doug and Cindy adopted me
when I was a baby.

160
00:08:46,315 --> 00:08:47,853
Oh, that's great.

161
00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:49,789
I've never seen you there
before, but,

162
00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:51,087
again I'm sort of new, so...

163
00:08:51,122 --> 00:08:53,661
(SIGHS) Fucking hate New Life.
Oh.

164
00:08:53,696 --> 00:08:54,996
My dad forced me to go
when I was a kid.

165
00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:58,963
It was awful,
growing up with all
that "end times" bullshit.

166
00:09:00,197 --> 00:09:02,197
(SIGHS) You're young.

167
00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:04,397
Why the hell
would you want to believe

168
00:09:04,432 --> 00:09:06,003
that the world
is about to end?

169
00:09:07,369 --> 00:09:09,809
I believe that
when Christ returns,

170
00:09:09,844 --> 00:09:11,074
it's gonna be beautiful.

171
00:09:14,849 --> 00:09:15,980
Look, you can go.

172
00:09:17,445 --> 00:09:19,313
I know Charlie appreciates
the help,

173
00:09:19,348 --> 00:09:21,986
but if you're here
to convert him...

174
00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:23,218
Oh, we don't convert,

175
00:09:23,253 --> 00:09:24,219
our message
is a message of hope

176
00:09:24,254 --> 00:09:27,255
for people of all...
LIZ: People of all faiths.

177
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:30,764
I know. You're sweet.
(CLICKS LIGHTER) But...

178
00:09:33,769 --> 00:09:34,868
(SIGHS)

179
00:09:34,904 --> 00:09:36,968
Believe me, he doesn't want
to hear about New Life.

180
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:40,202
Why?

181
00:09:40,237 --> 00:09:41,874
Because it's caused him
a lot of pain.

182
00:09:42,910 --> 00:09:43,909
How?

183
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:48,716
It killed his boyfriend.

184
00:09:50,445 --> 00:09:51,983
(TOILET FLUSHES)

185
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,416
You're saying the church...
(SIGHS)

186
00:09:57,485 --> 00:10:00,024
Killed Charlie's
boyfriend, yes.

187
00:10:01,192 --> 00:10:03,060
And I should add that New Life

188
00:10:03,095 --> 00:10:05,293
has caused me a lot of pain
in my life.

189
00:10:05,328 --> 00:10:07,933
So, we don't need you
coming over here,

190
00:10:07,968 --> 00:10:10,100
especially not now,
not this week.

191
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:13,004
Why?

192
00:10:13,039 --> 00:10:14,973
Because he probably
won't be here next week.

193
00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:17,272
Where's he going?

194
00:10:17,307 --> 00:10:19,406
I'm sorry
you had to come over, Liz.

195
00:10:20,783 --> 00:10:22,046
No, it's okay.

196
00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:24,950
I'm sorry
that I always think
I'm dying.

197
00:10:24,985 --> 00:10:28,118
Charlie, your blood pressure
is 238 over 134.

198
00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:30,219
I'm sorry.
Go to the hospital.

199
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,023
I'm sorry.
Stop saying you're sorry.

200
00:10:32,058 --> 00:10:33,255
Go to the hospital.

201
00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:35,961
You have congestive
heart failure.

202
00:10:35,996 --> 00:10:37,259
If you don't go
to the hospital,

203
00:10:37,294 --> 00:10:38,326
you'll be dead by the weekend.

204
00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:41,967
(STERNLY) You will die.

205
00:10:43,971 --> 00:10:45,234
CHARLIE: Well, then,
I better get to work

206
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,840
because I have a lot
of essays this week.

207
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,303
God damn it!

208
00:10:48,338 --> 00:10:51,746
I know. I'm sorry,
I'm an awful person. I know.

209
00:10:53,178 --> 00:10:54,408
I'm sorry.

210
00:10:54,443 --> 00:10:55,909
(GRUNTS, PANTS)

211
00:10:55,945 --> 00:10:58,148
Did you still want to hear
about Christ's message
of love and salvation?

212
00:10:58,183 --> 00:10:59,281
No, he does not!

213
00:10:59,316 --> 00:11:00,315
MISSIONARY: Okay. Okay.

214
00:11:01,153 --> 00:11:02,152
I'll go.

215
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:05,253
I still don't understand

216
00:11:05,288 --> 00:11:06,926
why you had me read
that essay to you.

217
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,764
It's a really good essay.

218
00:11:12,032 --> 00:11:13,933
LIZ: Goodbye. (CLOSES DOOR)

219
00:11:16,201 --> 00:11:18,806
Charlie, you have to go
to the hospital.
This has gone way too far.

220
00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:22,106
And rack up tens of thousands
of dollars in hospital bills

221
00:11:22,141 --> 00:11:24,471
I'll never be able
to pay back, ever.

222
00:11:24,506 --> 00:11:26,407
This affects me too, you know?

223
00:11:29,511 --> 00:11:30,510
You're my friend.

224
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:33,216
I know.

225
00:11:35,055 --> 00:11:36,087
I'm sorry.

226
00:11:36,122 --> 00:11:37,255
You say you're sorry
one more time,

227
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:39,453
I will shove a knife
right into you,
I swear to God!

228
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:41,829
Go ahead, what's it gonna do?

229
00:11:41,864 --> 00:11:43,325
My internal organs
are two feet in, at least.

230
00:11:46,561 --> 00:11:48,528
(LAUGHING)

231
00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,300
(COUGHS)

232
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,334
(WHIMPERS PLAYFULLY)

233
00:11:59,915 --> 00:12:01,508
I've been telling you
this would happen.

234
00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:02,850
(SIGHS) I know.

235
00:12:05,448 --> 00:12:07,415
Haven't I been telling you?
You have.

236
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,032
NEWSCASTER 1:<i> ...a new</i>
<i>GOP presidential primary.</i>

237
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:21,767
<i>However, they say</i>
<i>absentee ballots</i>

238
00:12:21,802 --> 00:12:24,267
<i>are the lowest they've seen</i>
<i>in recent history.</i>
NEWSCASTER 2:<i> That's not good.</i>

239
00:12:24,302 --> 00:12:26,368
NEWSCASTER 3:<i> No, it's not.</i>
<i>Get out and vote tomorrow.</i>

240
00:12:26,403 --> 00:12:28,436
<i>if you want to vote</i>
<i>in the Republican primary.</i>

241
00:12:28,471 --> 00:12:30,845
<i>Our current polls do show,</i>
<i>among Republicans,,</i>

242
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,177
<i>30% favor Trump...</i>
Liz.

243
00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:34,578
NEWSCASTER 3:
<i>...senator Ted Cruz,</i>

244
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:38,116
<i>17% would vote</i>
<i>for Florida senator</i>
<i>Marco Rubio,</i>

245
00:12:38,151 --> 00:12:40,954
<i>and 5% for Ohio governor</i>
<i>John Kasich.</i>

246
00:12:40,989 --> 00:12:42,255
Liz.

247
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,356
NEWSCASTER 3:
<i>...for someone else,</i>
<i>if they could.</i>

248
00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:45,926
<i>Below a percent</i>
<i>that just don't know.</i>

249
00:12:45,961 --> 00:12:47,527
NEWSCASTER 1:
<i>Meanwhile, Vermont senator</i>
<i>Bernie Sanders</i>

250
00:12:47,563 --> 00:12:50,865
<i>is expected to win</i>
<i>the Gem State</i>
<i>on the Democratic side...</i>

251
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:51,766
Please.

252
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:54,297
(NEWSCASTER 1 CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY)

253
00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:20,290
Thank you.

254
00:13:31,666 --> 00:13:33,534
(CRUNCHING)

255
00:13:43,117 --> 00:13:45,084
(LAUGHTER ON TV)

256
00:13:45,119 --> 00:13:47,383
Oh, I've seen this one,
it's good.

257
00:13:47,418 --> 00:13:49,220
(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)

258
00:13:53,028 --> 00:13:54,654
(RAIN PATTERING)

259
00:13:56,031 --> 00:13:58,031
(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)

260
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:02,497
(CHARLIE CHOKES, COUGHS)

261
00:14:03,368 --> 00:14:05,599
(COUGHING)

262
00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:12,078
(REMOTE CLICKS)
(TV SWITCHES OFF)

263
00:14:15,347 --> 00:14:16,478
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

264
00:14:19,648 --> 00:14:21,923
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

265
00:14:38,271 --> 00:14:42,306
CHARLIE:<i> In the first part</i>
<i>of his book, the author,</i>

266
00:14:44,277 --> 00:14:46,013
<i>calling himself Ishmael,</i>

267
00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:52,448
<i>is in a small seaside town</i>

268
00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:55,385
<i>and he is</i>

269
00:14:57,455 --> 00:15:00,720
<i>sharing a bed with a man</i>

270
00:15:02,559 --> 00:15:04,064
<i>named Queequeg.</i>

271
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,401
<i>The author and Queequeg</i>
<i>go to church,</i>

272
00:15:12,404 --> 00:15:15,075
<i>and later,</i>
<i>they set out on a ship</i>

273
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:16,571
<i>captained</i>
<i>by the pirate named</i>

274
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:19,409
Ahab,

275
00:15:22,249 --> 00:15:24,414
who is missing a leg,

276
00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:27,285
and very much wants
to kill the whale

277
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,355
which is named Moby Dick,

278
00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:33,588
and which is white.

279
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,460
In the course of the book,

280
00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:40,100
the pirate Ahab encounters
many hardships.

281
00:15:41,268 --> 00:15:44,401
His entire life is set around

282
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:47,041
trying to kill
a certain whale.

283
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,735
I think this is sad

284
00:15:48,770 --> 00:15:49,703
(GRUNTS)

285
00:15:49,738 --> 00:15:53,146
because the whale
doesn't have any emotions.

286
00:15:55,315 --> 00:15:56,479
(GRUNTS)

287
00:15:56,778 --> 00:15:58,019
He's just

288
00:15:59,385 --> 00:16:00,714
a poor, big animal.

289
00:16:03,224 --> 00:16:07,688
And I feel bad
for Ahab as well

290
00:16:09,362 --> 00:16:10,724
(GRUNTS)

291
00:16:10,759 --> 00:16:16,235
...because he thinks
that his life will be better

292
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:19,403
if he can just kill this whale.

293
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,738
But in reality,

294
00:16:25,378 --> 00:16:26,377
(GRUNTS)

295
00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:29,578
it won't help him at all.

296
00:16:31,582 --> 00:16:34,121
This book made me think

297
00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:36,321
about my own life.

298
00:16:39,821 --> 00:16:42,294
This book made me think
about my own life.

299
00:16:42,329 --> 00:16:45,363
(OCEAN WAVES CRASHING)

300
00:16:45,398 --> 00:16:49,301
(SOFTLY) This book
made me think
about my own life.

301
00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:39,780
(SIGHS)

302
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,656
(EXHALES)

303
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,330
(TYPING)

304
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,277
(TYPING)

305
00:18:18,623 --> 00:18:19,754
(SIGHS)

306
00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:22,658
(TYPING)

307
00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:36,936
(EXHALES)

308
00:18:56,397 --> 00:18:58,364
(WRAPPER CRINKLING)

309
00:19:00,632 --> 00:19:02,203
(BIRD CHIRPS)

310
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,306
(CHIRPS)

311
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,783
(SIGHS HEAVILY)

312
00:19:48,383 --> 00:19:49,877
(LINE RINGS)

313
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,254
(CLEARS THROAT)
(LINE CONNECTS)

314
00:20:30,656 --> 00:20:31,787
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

315
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,924
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY)

316
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:38,563
Does this mean
now I'm gonna get fat?

317
00:20:39,632 --> 00:20:42,534
(GRUNTS) No, it doesn't.

318
00:20:43,669 --> 00:20:44,998
I was always big.

319
00:20:45,033 --> 00:20:46,065
I just...

320
00:20:46,969 --> 00:20:48,474
I let it get out of control.

321
00:20:49,906 --> 00:20:51,378
(CHARLIE EXHALES)

322
00:20:53,448 --> 00:20:56,713
So, was your mom okay
with you coming over here?

323
00:20:57,683 --> 00:20:58,814
I didn't tell her.

324
00:21:01,852 --> 00:21:03,324
CHARLIE: It's really good
to see you.

325
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:06,558
You look beautiful.

326
00:21:09,530 --> 00:21:10,727
So, how's school?

327
00:21:11,565 --> 00:21:13,367
You're a senior, right?

328
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:14,797
You actually care?

329
00:21:14,832 --> 00:21:16,832
Well, of course I care.

330
00:21:16,867 --> 00:21:18,537
I pester your mom
for information

331
00:21:18,572 --> 00:21:19,802
as often as
she'll give it to me.

332
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,036
(CHARLIE EXHALES)

333
00:21:25,777 --> 00:21:26,776
Um...

334
00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:30,780
So... (GRUNTS)

335
00:21:30,815 --> 00:21:33,387
Why are you...
I mean, don't you have school?

336
00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:34,850
Got suspended
this morning.

337
00:21:35,589 --> 00:21:36,588
Oh.

338
00:21:37,426 --> 00:21:38,592
Why?

339
00:21:38,627 --> 00:21:40,790
I posted something
about my stupid bitch
lab partner

340
00:21:40,825 --> 00:21:43,056
that the vice principal said
was "Vaguely threatening."

341
00:21:44,499 --> 00:21:45,729
(GRUNTS)

342
00:21:46,831 --> 00:21:47,962
You don't like school?

343
00:21:47,997 --> 00:21:49,469
Only idiots like high school.

344
00:21:50,868 --> 00:21:53,374
But you're on track
to graduate, right?

345
00:21:55,202 --> 00:21:56,542
Counselor says I might not.

346
00:21:58,106 --> 00:21:59,380
I'm not worried.

347
00:22:00,911 --> 00:22:01,910
I'm a smart person.

348
00:22:02,814 --> 00:22:03,978
I never forget anything.

349
00:22:05,179 --> 00:22:06,915
High school is just bullshit.

350
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,818
But, Ellie, it's important.

351
00:22:08,853 --> 00:22:09,886
If you don't graduate, then...

352
00:22:09,921 --> 00:22:11,623
Are you actually trying
to parent me right now?

353
00:22:12,824 --> 00:22:14,527
No, I'm... Sorry.

354
00:22:14,826 --> 00:22:16,595
I just...

355
00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:18,729
I just thought that maybe
we could spend some time
with each other.

356
00:22:19,699 --> 00:22:20,929
I'm not spending time
with you.

357
00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:22,700
You're disgusting.

358
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:30,037
Well, I'm a lot bigger
than I was

359
00:22:30,072 --> 00:22:31,138
since last time you saw me.

360
00:22:31,173 --> 00:22:33,711
ELLIE: No, I'm not talking
about what you look like.

361
00:22:33,746 --> 00:22:35,647
You'd be disgusting
even if you weren't this fat.

362
00:22:36,881 --> 00:22:38,848
You'd still be
that piece-of-shit dad

363
00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:40,179
who walked out on me
when I was eight.

364
00:22:41,688 --> 00:22:43,688
All because he wanted to fuck
one of his students.

365
00:22:43,723 --> 00:22:44,755
Can I have one of these?

366
00:22:46,187 --> 00:22:46,986
Yeah.

367
00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:52,499
Look, it's...
it's been a long time.

368
00:22:52,534 --> 00:22:53,995
I just thought that maybe

369
00:22:55,262 --> 00:22:56,734
we can get to know each other.

370
00:22:58,573 --> 00:22:59,704
I don't even know
why I'm here.

371
00:23:00,674 --> 00:23:01,673
I can pay you.

372
00:23:06,548 --> 00:23:08,207
You want to pay me
to spend time with you?

373
00:23:08,242 --> 00:23:10,242
And I can help you
with your work.

374
00:23:10,277 --> 00:23:12,013
It's what I do for my job.

375
00:23:13,786 --> 00:23:15,082
I can help you pass
your classes.

376
00:23:16,789 --> 00:23:18,822
You teach online?
Yes.

377
00:23:18,857 --> 00:23:20,626
Your students know
what you look like?

378
00:23:20,661 --> 00:23:22,562
I keep the camera shut off.

379
00:23:22,597 --> 00:23:24,025
Yeah, that's probably
a good idea.

380
00:23:31,166 --> 00:23:33,199
My counselor says
that if I show
a lot of improvement

381
00:23:33,234 --> 00:23:34,640
in one subject,

382
00:23:34,675 --> 00:23:35,674
I might be able
to graduate.

383
00:23:36,908 --> 00:23:39,172
You can rewrite these essays
for English.

384
00:23:39,207 --> 00:23:40,745
They have to be
really good, though.

385
00:23:44,586 --> 00:23:45,915
Well, look, um...

386
00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:47,719
I don't know
if I should write them
for you,

387
00:23:47,754 --> 00:23:48,819
but I can work with you
on them.

388
00:23:48,854 --> 00:23:49,985
How much can you pay me?

389
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:52,086
Everything I have.

390
00:23:52,121 --> 00:23:54,495
All the money
I have in the bank.
How much?

391
00:23:56,631 --> 00:23:59,896
$120,000?
Something like that.
I'd have to check.

392
00:24:01,603 --> 00:24:02,899
I never go out.

393
00:24:02,934 --> 00:24:06,067
All I pay for is food,
rent, Internet.

394
00:24:06,839 --> 00:24:08,542
And I work all the time.

395
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,006
And you'd give
all of it to me?

396
00:24:12,614 --> 00:24:13,613
Not to my mom, to me?

397
00:24:15,243 --> 00:24:17,243
Yes. Just...

398
00:24:18,312 --> 00:24:19,817
don't tell your mom,

399
00:24:20,248 --> 00:24:21,247
all right?

400
00:24:22,888 --> 00:24:26,791
And maybe you could do
some writing just for me.

401
00:24:27,596 --> 00:24:28,892
Why?

402
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,730
Because you're a smart person.

403
00:24:31,765 --> 00:24:33,864
And I bet you'd make
a strong writer.

404
00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:37,802
Plus, I'm a teacher.
I want to make sure

405
00:24:37,837 --> 00:24:39,672
you're getting something
out of this.

406
00:24:42,776 --> 00:24:45,073
(ZIPS BAG) I don't even
understand you.

407
00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:57,250
Stand up and walk over to me.

408
00:24:58,726 --> 00:24:59,857
What?

409
00:24:59,892 --> 00:25:01,727
Come over here.
Walk toward me.

410
00:25:05,326 --> 00:25:07,095
No. No. Without this thing.

411
00:25:08,802 --> 00:25:10,703
Stand up and walk over here.

412
00:25:13,136 --> 00:25:14,575
Ellie, I can't really...
Shut up!

413
00:25:16,271 --> 00:25:17,644
Come over here.

414
00:25:23,278 --> 00:25:24,651
(CHARLIE SIGHS)

415
00:25:30,417 --> 00:25:31,724
(EXHALES HEAVILY)

416
00:25:32,254 --> 00:25:33,253
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

417
00:25:38,898 --> 00:25:40,733
(GRUNTS WITH EXERTION)

418
00:25:40,768 --> 00:25:42,295
(GRUNTS, GROANS)

419
00:25:42,935 --> 00:25:45,870
(PANTING)

420
00:25:48,237 --> 00:25:50,611
(HUFFING)

421
00:25:51,405 --> 00:25:54,208
(GRUNTS)

422
00:25:58,346 --> 00:25:59,686
(CHARLIE YELLS)

423
00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,886
(GROANING LOUDLY)

424
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,988
(GROANING IN PAIN)

425
00:26:09,159 --> 00:26:11,159
(PANTING)

426
00:26:13,328 --> 00:26:15,229
(DOG BARKS OUTSIDE)

427
00:26:21,072 --> 00:26:22,940
(WHISPERING)
"...celebrate my soul.

428
00:26:24,075 --> 00:26:25,778
"Sell my soul."

429
00:26:25,813 --> 00:26:26,977
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

430
00:26:27,474 --> 00:26:28,715
MAN: Gambino's!

431
00:26:29,476 --> 00:26:30,783
Yeah, you can, um...

432
00:26:31,918 --> 00:26:33,346
I put a $20 in the mailbox.

433
00:26:34,822 --> 00:26:35,854
MAN: Sure.

434
00:26:39,453 --> 00:26:41,926
You can just leave it
on the...

435
00:26:41,961 --> 00:26:44,192
MAN: Yeah, I, uh...
I remember.

436
00:26:46,328 --> 00:26:47,668
Everything okay in there?

437
00:26:52,301 --> 00:26:53,300
Yeah.

438
00:26:55,106 --> 00:26:56,138
MAN: You sure?

439
00:26:56,943 --> 00:26:57,942
Yeah.

440
00:26:58,813 --> 00:26:59,845
I'm fine.

441
00:27:02,278 --> 00:27:03,277
Thank you.

442
00:27:05,248 --> 00:27:06,247
(METAL CLACKS)

443
00:27:07,118 --> 00:27:08,722
(FOOTSTEPS)

444
00:27:12,024 --> 00:27:13,122
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)

445
00:27:20,362 --> 00:27:21,801
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

446
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,795
Breathe slowly.
(DEVICE BEEPS)

447
00:27:48,830 --> 00:27:50,126
(INHALES)

448
00:27:50,161 --> 00:27:51,193
Relax.

449
00:27:51,228 --> 00:27:52,327
(EXHALES)
(DEVICE BEEPS)

450
00:27:52,363 --> 00:27:55,494
It measures perspiration.
It's an indicator of stress.

451
00:27:55,529 --> 00:27:56,935
It's about establishing
a relationship

452
00:27:56,970 --> 00:27:58,200
between your brain
and your body.

453
00:27:58,235 --> 00:27:59,773
If you know
how to make yourself calm,

454
00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:00,939
then your blood
pressure will...

455
00:28:00,974 --> 00:28:03,040
(DEVICE BEEPS)
Here.

456
00:28:03,075 --> 00:28:05,075
I don't need a little machine
to tell me

457
00:28:05,110 --> 00:28:07,539
to take a few deep breaths
and stop sweating.

458
00:28:07,574 --> 00:28:09,915
Well, apparently,
you fucking do.

459
00:28:09,950 --> 00:28:12,544
(DEVICE BEEPS)
Take another deep breath.

460
00:28:12,579 --> 00:28:15,250
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(DEVICE BEEPS)

461
00:28:15,285 --> 00:28:16,350
Thank you.

462
00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:19,925
(CHARLIE EXHALES DEEPLY)

463
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,191
(LIZ SIGHS)

464
00:28:22,226 --> 00:28:26,294
We're just gonna try
some different methods,
or whatever.

465
00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:29,935
If you refuse to go
to the hospital,
then you'll...

466
00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:32,135
I don't know.

467
00:28:40,244 --> 00:28:41,408
Where'd this come from?

468
00:28:41,443 --> 00:28:42,948
(DEVICE CONTINUES BEEPING)

469
00:28:46,415 --> 00:28:47,414
Hey.

470
00:28:50,859 --> 00:28:51,858
Was she here?

471
00:28:55,061 --> 00:28:57,061
No, I don't like this.

472
00:28:57,096 --> 00:28:59,228
This isn't a good idea.

473
00:28:59,263 --> 00:29:01,197
You know you're not supposed
to be around her.

474
00:29:02,497 --> 00:29:03,837
Does her mom know about this?

475
00:29:03,872 --> 00:29:05,267
I just wanted to see her.

476
00:29:05,302 --> 00:29:07,302
Mary has kept her from me
all this time.

477
00:29:07,337 --> 00:29:10,008
Why do you suddenly need
to see her so bad, why now?

478
00:29:10,043 --> 00:29:11,042
Liz.

479
00:29:14,982 --> 00:29:16,080
(LIZ SIGHS)

480
00:29:18,216 --> 00:29:20,084
Why the hell do you have
her homework, anyway?

481
00:29:20,988 --> 00:29:24,484
Look, I didn't plan for this.

482
00:29:24,519 --> 00:29:26,222
She needs some help at school,

483
00:29:26,257 --> 00:29:28,587
so I'm gonna help her
with a few essays.

484
00:29:28,622 --> 00:29:29,755
(LIZ SCOFFS)

485
00:29:29,790 --> 00:29:31,865
You haven't seen her
since she was eight
years old,

486
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:32,998
and you're gonna
reconnect with her

487
00:29:33,033 --> 00:29:34,593
by doing her homework
for her?

488
00:29:34,628 --> 00:29:36,133
It's fine.
It's not fine.

489
00:29:39,006 --> 00:29:40,841
She shouldn't be around you
when you're like this.

490
00:29:42,108 --> 00:29:44,636
What if something happens,
what if you need help?

491
00:29:44,671 --> 00:29:46,176
(DEVICE BEEPING RAPIDLY)

492
00:29:46,211 --> 00:29:47,375
Charlie, calm down.

493
00:29:48,378 --> 00:29:50,048
Hey. No.
(BEEPING STOPS)

494
00:29:52,580 --> 00:29:54,019
Okay. Forget it, then.

495
00:29:55,319 --> 00:29:57,352
I'm worried about her.
Why?

496
00:30:00,093 --> 00:30:01,554
Oh, you're spying on her now?

497
00:30:03,294 --> 00:30:05,162
It doesn't look
like she has any friends.

498
00:30:09,333 --> 00:30:10,365
I don't think this is...

499
00:30:15,174 --> 00:30:17,339
(CHARLIE SCOFFS)
Come on, a dead dog?

500
00:30:23,952 --> 00:30:25,413
I'm worried
that she's forgotten

501
00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:27,283
what an amazing person she is.

502
00:30:32,521 --> 00:30:34,356
She's just a teenager.

503
00:30:34,391 --> 00:30:36,424
Everyone is insane
when they're a teenager.

504
00:30:36,459 --> 00:30:37,358
When I was her age,

505
00:30:37,394 --> 00:30:39,130
when my dad
would really piss me off...

506
00:30:41,035 --> 00:30:43,134
I'm just lucky
I didn't get arrested,
that's all I'll say.

507
00:30:46,535 --> 00:30:47,567
Point is,

508
00:30:49,571 --> 00:30:52,077
bringing her over here
is a bad idea.

509
00:30:52,112 --> 00:30:54,112
You have enough to deal with
right now, you hear me?

510
00:30:55,643 --> 00:30:57,280
Do not bring her
over here again.

511
00:30:58,052 --> 00:30:59,150
Okay.

512
00:31:00,516 --> 00:31:01,515
Okay.

513
00:31:06,621 --> 00:31:09,127
It's not like she's alone,
you know. She has her mom.

514
00:31:15,201 --> 00:31:17,531
LIZ: Ugh, shit.
I have to go soon.

515
00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:21,205
I hate these night shifts.
(UTENSILS CLACKING)

516
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:25,275
It's just a steady parade
of dumb, drunk college kids.

517
00:31:25,310 --> 00:31:26,507
(FAUCET RUNS)

518
00:31:27,609 --> 00:31:29,378
(LAUGHING) Did I tell you
about this girl

519
00:31:29,413 --> 00:31:31,380
from a few nights ago?
(GAGS)

520
00:31:31,415 --> 00:31:33,987
The puke was bright purple,
I swear.

521
00:31:34,022 --> 00:31:36,451
(CHOKING)
(LIZ LAUGHING)

522
00:31:36,486 --> 00:31:37,485
I mean, what is that?

523
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:40,356
Why can't these kids
just drink beer? You know.

524
00:31:41,755 --> 00:31:44,063
Are you choking?
(CONTINUES CHOKING)

525
00:31:44,098 --> 00:31:46,296
Oh, God!
Okay, lean on that arm.

526
00:31:47,068 --> 00:31:48,067
Lean on that arm!

527
00:31:49,037 --> 00:31:50,399
Okay, I need
you to rock with me.

528
00:31:51,237 --> 00:31:53,270
(GRUNTS)
(CHOKES)

529
00:31:53,305 --> 00:31:54,634
(GRUNTS)
(CHARLIE GASPS)

530
00:31:55,571 --> 00:31:56,603
(LIZ YELLS)

531
00:31:56,638 --> 00:31:59,012
(COUGHS, WHEEZES)

532
00:31:59,047 --> 00:32:01,707
(COUGHING, WHEEZING)

533
00:32:01,742 --> 00:32:03,742
(GASPING)

534
00:32:04,778 --> 00:32:06,415
I'm okay. (GASPS)

535
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:11,354
I'm okay. (GASPS)

536
00:32:11,389 --> 00:32:14,027
(SHOUTS) God damn it, Charlie,
what is wrong with you?

537
00:32:14,062 --> 00:32:14,961
(HITS)

538
00:32:14,997 --> 00:32:17,195
Chew your food
like a normal human being!

539
00:32:17,230 --> 00:32:19,131
You could have just died
right in front of me!

540
00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:20,165
I'm sorry.

541
00:32:21,234 --> 00:32:24,136
(CHARLIE WHIMPERS AND SOBS)

542
00:32:26,239 --> 00:32:27,271
I'm sorry, Liz.

543
00:32:39,384 --> 00:32:40,416
(OBJECT CLACKS)

544
00:32:47,590 --> 00:32:48,721
(LIZ EXHALES)

545
00:32:55,532 --> 00:32:56,531
It's okay.

546
00:33:20,623 --> 00:33:22,755
CHARLIE: I read through
some of the posts

547
00:33:22,790 --> 00:33:25,725
in the class discussion forum
this morning.

548
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,266
In particular, a post

549
00:33:28,301 --> 00:33:32,534
about crafting a good thesis,
and I quote,

550
00:33:32,569 --> 00:33:34,734
"Just pick a sentence
from the reading

551
00:33:34,769 --> 00:33:37,275
"and say, 'It's good,'
or some shit."

552
00:33:37,310 --> 00:33:40,344
Listen, at this point
in the course,

553
00:33:40,379 --> 00:33:43,413
I have given you
all that I can,

554
00:33:43,448 --> 00:33:46,779
in terms of structure,
building a thesis,

555
00:33:46,814 --> 00:33:48,418
paragraph organization.

556
00:33:49,619 --> 00:33:52,488
But if all of that isn't built

557
00:33:52,523 --> 00:33:55,359
on your own original ideas
and truthful analysis,

558
00:33:55,394 --> 00:33:56,690
it doesn't mean anything.

559
00:33:58,430 --> 00:34:00,628
Think about that
as you write and revise.

560
00:34:00,663 --> 00:34:03,301
Think about the truth
of your argument.

561
00:34:04,766 --> 00:34:08,735
I know this may sound silly,
but it's important.

562
00:34:10,376 --> 00:34:12,805
Promise, it's important.

563
00:34:16,415 --> 00:34:17,810
(BIRD CHIRPING)

564
00:34:32,497 --> 00:34:34,563
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

565
00:34:43,607 --> 00:34:44,639
(STRAINING)

566
00:34:45,411 --> 00:34:46,575
(KEY CLATTERS)

567
00:34:53,584 --> 00:34:56,354
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)

568
00:35:04,958 --> 00:35:06,232
(KEY CLACKS)

569
00:35:07,928 --> 00:35:09,202
(CLAW CLICKS)

570
00:35:17,542 --> 00:35:19,509
(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

571
00:35:22,481 --> 00:35:23,612
(SIGHS)

572
00:35:31,886 --> 00:35:34,524
This is... (EXHALES)

573
00:35:34,559 --> 00:35:37,197
You say that Walt Whitman
wrote<i> Song for Myself.</i>

574
00:35:37,529 --> 00:35:38,726
Yeah?

575
00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:40,497
It's called<i> Song of Myself.</i>

576
00:35:42,336 --> 00:35:43,368
My title's better.

577
00:35:45,537 --> 00:35:46,536
Yeah.

578
00:35:47,572 --> 00:35:48,571
Well...

579
00:35:49,508 --> 00:35:50,540
Okay, I'll just change it.

580
00:35:52,346 --> 00:35:54,709
"The poem<i> Song of Myself</i>

581
00:35:54,744 --> 00:35:56,711
"is in a book
called<i> Leaves of Grass.</i>

582
00:35:56,746 --> 00:35:58,416
"It was written
by Walt Whitman

583
00:35:58,451 --> 00:36:00,616
"and was published in 1855.

584
00:36:00,651 --> 00:36:02,585
"He paid for the first
publication himself."

585
00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:05,621
You don't have to read it
out loud. Just rewrite it.

586
00:36:05,656 --> 00:36:07,689
You're supposed
to analyze the poem.

587
00:36:07,724 --> 00:36:09,262
This is just a list of facts.

588
00:36:09,297 --> 00:36:11,462
Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia.

589
00:36:13,026 --> 00:36:14,729
(SMACKS LIPS)

590
00:36:14,764 --> 00:36:16,566
You know, it's really
an amazing poem.

591
00:36:16,601 --> 00:36:20,372
Whitman uses the metaphor
of "I" not to refer to himself,

592
00:36:20,407 --> 00:36:23,969
but to explode
the very definition of self

593
00:36:24,004 --> 00:36:26,477
in favor of a more
all-encompassing...

594
00:36:26,512 --> 00:36:27,808
I really, really don't care.

595
00:36:32,485 --> 00:36:34,716
You know, I think
you might like it
if you actually read it.

596
00:36:35,851 --> 00:36:38,489
You're just like my teachers.

597
00:36:38,524 --> 00:36:40,887
You think just because
I'm not losing my shit
over the poem,

598
00:36:40,922 --> 00:36:42,361
it's because I didn't read it.

599
00:36:42,396 --> 00:36:43,362
I did read it.

600
00:36:43,397 --> 00:36:46,024
It's overwritten, and dumb,
and repetitive.

601
00:36:46,059 --> 00:36:48,697
And even though he thinks
his metaphor of "I" is deep,

602
00:36:48,732 --> 00:36:50,600
it's actually
just a bunch of bullshit.

603
00:36:50,635 --> 00:36:51,568
And, in reality,

604
00:36:51,603 --> 00:36:54,835
he's just some worthless
19th century faggot.

605
00:36:57,378 --> 00:36:59,807
That's an interesting
perspective.

606
00:36:59,842 --> 00:37:01,578
It would make
for an interesting essay.

607
00:37:03,978 --> 00:37:07,045
Just write that thing
about exploding
the definition of self.

608
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,519
My English teacher
will love it.

609
00:37:13,086 --> 00:37:14,426
(CHARLIE SIGHS)

610
00:37:16,991 --> 00:37:19,827
So, how's your mom doing?
Oh, my God.

611
00:37:21,567 --> 00:37:23,831
Look, if you're not
gonna write
these essays for me, then...

612
00:37:23,866 --> 00:37:27,604
CHARLIE: Ellie,
I don't need you here
to write these essays for you.

613
00:37:27,639 --> 00:37:29,309
If you want to go, you can go.

614
00:37:30,642 --> 00:37:31,740
You can still have the money.

615
00:37:34,580 --> 00:37:36,910
I thought you wanted
to get to know me.
I do,

616
00:37:36,945 --> 00:37:38,549
but I don't want
to force you to be here.

617
00:37:40,388 --> 00:37:41,453
It's up to you.

618
00:37:44,986 --> 00:37:45,985
(PUTS BAG DOWN)

619
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:48,559
She's fine.

620
00:37:49,529 --> 00:37:50,627
Mom. I guess.

621
00:37:51,762 --> 00:37:54,026
She happy?
When she drinks.

622
00:37:55,964 --> 00:37:58,569
You guys still live
in that duplex
over on Orchard?

623
00:37:59,671 --> 00:38:00,736
You don't even know
where we live?

624
00:38:03,708 --> 00:38:04,707
You don't stay in touch
with Mom?

625
00:38:04,743 --> 00:38:08,381
Yeah, I check in with her
as often as she lets me.

626
00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:09,844
She really only tells me
things about you.

627
00:38:10,814 --> 00:38:12,077
Why?

628
00:38:12,112 --> 00:38:13,881
Because that's all
I want to know about.

629
00:38:20,153 --> 00:38:21,394
When I was 11,

630
00:38:21,429 --> 00:38:22,791
we moved
to the other side of town,

631
00:38:23,662 --> 00:38:24,760
near the Walmart.

632
00:38:25,466 --> 00:38:26,465
Is your mother

633
00:38:27,567 --> 00:38:29,567
with anyone right now?
No.

634
00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:32,130
Why, you interested?

635
00:38:32,165 --> 00:38:34,737
(CHUCKLES) No, of course not.

636
00:38:42,648 --> 00:38:44,043
Why'd you gain
all that weight?

637
00:38:44,078 --> 00:38:45,344
(INHALES DEEPLY) I don't...

638
00:38:45,380 --> 00:38:47,618
If you're gonna
interrogate me,
I'm gonna do the same thing.

639
00:38:50,051 --> 00:38:51,149
Why'd you gain
all that weight?

640
00:38:55,595 --> 00:38:58,959
Someone close to me
passed away, and it...

641
00:38:59,797 --> 00:39:01,995
It had an effect on me.

642
00:39:02,030 --> 00:39:03,029
Your boyfriend.

643
00:39:04,164 --> 00:39:06,868
My partner.
Your student.

644
00:39:06,903 --> 00:39:09,035
He wasn't that young.
It was a night school course.

645
00:39:09,070 --> 00:39:10,102
ELLIE: Oh, I remember him.

646
00:39:11,644 --> 00:39:12,742
You had him over
for dinner once

647
00:39:12,777 --> 00:39:14,711
when Mom was in Montana,
visiting Grandma.

648
00:39:16,550 --> 00:39:17,648
You made steaks.

649
00:39:18,651 --> 00:39:20,145
The good kind.

650
00:39:20,180 --> 00:39:23,115
Better meal
than you ever made
for me or Mom.

651
00:39:23,150 --> 00:39:25,656
I remember hearing
you two talk
after I went to bed.

652
00:39:28,958 --> 00:39:30,727
How do you remember all that?

653
00:39:30,762 --> 00:39:33,026
I told you,
I never forget anything.

654
00:39:43,203 --> 00:39:44,202
How did he die?

655
00:39:46,206 --> 00:39:48,514
I... I don't... I'm...

656
00:39:48,549 --> 00:39:50,813
I really don't want
to talk about that right now,

657
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,585
if that's all right with you.

658
00:39:58,658 --> 00:40:00,658
(CELL PHONE KEYS CLACKING)

659
00:40:05,225 --> 00:40:06,697
I'll write these essays
for you.

660
00:40:08,602 --> 00:40:11,768
I want you to do some writing,
just for me.

661
00:40:12,804 --> 00:40:14,639
I hate writing essays.

662
00:40:14,674 --> 00:40:16,234
Just think about the poem
for a while,

663
00:40:17,237 --> 00:40:18,236
and write something.

664
00:40:20,944 --> 00:40:22,845
Be honest.

665
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,946
Tell me what you really think.

666
00:40:24,981 --> 00:40:26,684
You want me to write
what I really think?

667
00:40:28,182 --> 00:40:29,247
I'll be right back.

668
00:40:30,591 --> 00:40:32,624
Just write whatever you want.

669
00:40:35,222 --> 00:40:38,597
(CHARLIE GROANING
WITH EXERTION)

670
00:40:40,931 --> 00:40:42,029
(SIGHS HEAVILY)

671
00:40:43,164 --> 00:40:45,604
(CONTINUES GROANING)

672
00:40:45,639 --> 00:40:48,970
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

673
00:41:21,642 --> 00:41:23,037
(WATER RUNNING)

674
00:41:25,646 --> 00:41:27,745
(SUPPRESSED SOBBING)

675
00:41:28,341 --> 00:41:30,880
(MUFFLED SOBBING)

676
00:41:30,915 --> 00:41:32,750
(WATER CONTINUES RUNNING)

677
00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:36,589
Are you okay?

678
00:41:36,624 --> 00:41:38,250
Unless you're dying,
there's no way
I'm going in there.

679
00:41:38,285 --> 00:41:39,823
(SNIFFLES)

680
00:41:39,858 --> 00:41:42,089
(EXHALES) Oh, yeah.
I'm fine. I'm fine.

681
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,702
(BRID WINGS FLAPPING)

682
00:41:58,844 --> 00:42:00,041
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

683
00:42:01,275 --> 00:42:03,045
(WATER RUNNING)
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

684
00:42:06,918 --> 00:42:08,247
Hi.

685
00:42:08,282 --> 00:42:09,820
I was looking for Charlie?

686
00:42:10,416 --> 00:42:11,657
He's in the bathroom.

687
00:42:12,319 --> 00:42:13,725
Oh, I can come back.

688
00:42:19,128 --> 00:42:20,963
Are you his friend, or...

689
00:42:20,998 --> 00:42:22,294
I'm his daughter.

690
00:42:22,329 --> 00:42:24,835
Oh.
Are you surprised?

691
00:42:25,838 --> 00:42:26,937
Yeah, I guess.

692
00:42:26,973 --> 00:42:28,938
What's more surprising?
That a gay guy
has a daughter,

693
00:42:28,973 --> 00:42:30,610
or that someone
actually found his penis?

694
00:42:33,274 --> 00:42:34,273
I'm kidding.

695
00:42:35,342 --> 00:42:36,374
Jesus.

696
00:42:37,311 --> 00:42:38,510
Um...

697
00:42:38,546 --> 00:42:41,379
Charlie was interested
in hearing more
about my church,

698
00:42:41,414 --> 00:42:42,280
and I brought
some literature...

699
00:42:42,315 --> 00:42:44,987
Are you Mormon?
No, I'm from New Life.

700
00:42:45,022 --> 00:42:47,693
Oh. That end times cult thing.

701
00:42:47,728 --> 00:42:49,662
(POURS JUICE)
It's not a cult.

702
00:42:49,697 --> 00:42:51,389
Tell you one thing
that I like about religion.

703
00:42:51,424 --> 00:42:52,863
What I like about religion

704
00:42:52,898 --> 00:42:54,997
is that it assumes
that everyone is an idiot

705
00:42:55,032 --> 00:42:56,966
and that they're all incapable
of saving themselves.

706
00:42:57,001 --> 00:42:58,704
I think they got
something right with that.

707
00:42:58,739 --> 00:42:59,870
I don't think like that...

708
00:42:59,905 --> 00:43:01,740
What I don't like
about religion

709
00:43:01,775 --> 00:43:04,204
is that when people
accept Jesus or whatever,

710
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:05,876
they suddenly think
that they're better

711
00:43:05,911 --> 00:43:06,977
than everyone else.
(CHARLIE GRUNTING)

712
00:43:07,012 --> 00:43:09,176
By accepting the fact
that they're stupid sinners,

713
00:43:09,211 --> 00:43:12,410
somehow they've become better,
and they turn into assholes.

714
00:43:14,986 --> 00:43:16,216
I don't really know
what to say.

715
00:43:16,251 --> 00:43:18,218
I have some pamphlets
that I think would...

716
00:43:18,253 --> 00:43:20,088
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Why did you just do that?

717
00:43:20,123 --> 00:43:21,793
Are you coming back tomorrow?

718
00:43:21,828 --> 00:43:23,223
I'm not sure...
Come back tomorrow.

719
00:43:23,258 --> 00:43:25,258
I'll be here
around the same time.

720
00:43:25,293 --> 00:43:26,897
I'm sorry, what's happening?

721
00:43:27,460 --> 00:43:28,833
(CAMERA CLICKS)

722
00:43:29,297 --> 00:43:30,868
Oh!

723
00:43:30,903 --> 00:43:32,837
Hi. I was just coming over

724
00:43:32,872 --> 00:43:34,036
to share these pamphlets
with you.

725
00:43:34,071 --> 00:43:35,169
You'll have those done
by tomorrow?

726
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:37,039
Sure.

727
00:43:37,811 --> 00:43:39,140
Five-page minimum.

728
00:43:39,175 --> 00:43:40,405
It'll be good, I promise.

729
00:43:43,751 --> 00:43:45,344
I'm Ellie.
Thomas.

730
00:43:46,215 --> 00:43:48,281
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

731
00:43:49,350 --> 00:43:50,690
(SLAMS DOOR SHUT)

732
00:43:54,289 --> 00:43:55,322
So...

733
00:43:55,357 --> 00:43:57,928
Christ's return
has been promised
for centuries.

734
00:43:57,963 --> 00:43:59,325
But there are a lot
of clues in Scripture

735
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:00,526
that suggest it's imminent.

736
00:44:00,561 --> 00:44:02,933
So, that means
we don't have time
to deny the Gospel,

737
00:44:02,968 --> 00:44:04,132
we don't have...
Do you really think

738
00:44:04,167 --> 00:44:06,365
that the world's
gonna end soon?

739
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,367
Well, the Bible says
that no one shall know the day

740
00:44:08,402 --> 00:44:09,907
or the hour, but,

741
00:44:09,942 --> 00:44:11,370
yeah, I think we're probably
living in end times.

742
00:44:12,538 --> 00:44:13,944
And that doesn't bother you?

743
00:44:13,979 --> 00:44:15,341
No. It's the idea

744
00:44:15,376 --> 00:44:18,014
that a better world is coming
to replace this one.

745
00:44:18,049 --> 00:44:20,412
That everything terrible
about this country,

746
00:44:20,447 --> 00:44:22,282
this planet,
is gonna be wiped clean,

747
00:44:22,317 --> 00:44:25,186
and replaced with something
pure and holy, and...

748
00:44:25,221 --> 00:44:27,122
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be rude,

749
00:44:27,157 --> 00:44:29,025
but I know all this.

750
00:44:29,830 --> 00:44:31,093
What do you mean?

751
00:44:31,128 --> 00:44:33,359
I have probably
read everything

752
00:44:33,394 --> 00:44:36,329
New Life Church
has ever written.

753
00:44:36,364 --> 00:44:39,365
Probably every pamphlet
they've ever published.

754
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,873
Wow, that's great
and everything,

755
00:44:41,908 --> 00:44:43,875
but these tracts
are just the beginning.

756
00:44:43,910 --> 00:44:46,108
There's so much more
in the Bible that we can...
I read the Bible.

757
00:44:47,111 --> 00:44:48,440
Really?

758
00:44:48,475 --> 00:44:50,409
Sure. Couple times.

759
00:44:51,951 --> 00:44:53,412
Did you like it?

760
00:44:53,447 --> 00:44:55,953
I thought it was devastating.

761
00:44:55,988 --> 00:44:58,824
God creates us,
expels us from paradise.

762
00:44:58,859 --> 00:45:01,827
We wander around
for thousands of years
killing each other,

763
00:45:01,862 --> 00:45:04,863
before He comes back
and saves 144,000 of us.

764
00:45:04,898 --> 00:45:08,097
Meanwhile, seven-
and-a-half billion of us
fall into hell.

765
00:45:10,398 --> 00:45:12,431
Yeah.

766
00:45:12,466 --> 00:45:14,433
That's not really
how I interpret it, but...

767
00:45:16,074 --> 00:45:17,876
Charlie, you have
to understand,

768
00:45:18,945 --> 00:45:21,341
God hasn't turned
His back on you.

769
00:45:21,376 --> 00:45:24,212
If you accept Him,
He'll release you from this.

770
00:45:24,247 --> 00:45:25,576
(SIPPING)
He'll take your soul

771
00:45:25,611 --> 00:45:27,952
out of this body
and give you
a brand-new body.

772
00:45:27,987 --> 00:45:30,119
One made of pure light.
I mean, don't you want that?

773
00:45:30,154 --> 00:45:33,221
I'm not interested
in being saved.

774
00:45:33,256 --> 00:45:34,893
(SIGHS)
I appreciate what you did

775
00:45:34,928 --> 00:45:37,060
the other day,
but you can go.

776
00:45:37,095 --> 00:45:38,589
This doesn't sound
like something that I...

777
00:45:38,624 --> 00:45:41,361
Look, I really think
that God brought me here
for a reason.

778
00:45:41,396 --> 00:45:43,363
There's a reason
why I knocked on your door

779
00:45:43,398 --> 00:45:45,398
right when you needed
someone the most.

780
00:45:45,433 --> 00:45:48,434
Isn't there any way
I can help?

781
00:45:48,469 --> 00:45:49,568
I mean,
that's the entire reason

782
00:45:49,604 --> 00:45:51,602
why I became a missionary
in the first place, right?

783
00:45:51,637 --> 00:45:53,274
There's something
you can do for me.

784
00:45:57,511 --> 00:46:00,512
What?
Um, nothing I just...

785
00:46:00,547 --> 00:46:04,923
I hope you know
I wasn't talking about, um...

786
00:46:05,486 --> 00:46:07,618
What?
I'm not...

787
00:46:07,653 --> 00:46:09,587
Oh, my God.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I just...

788
00:46:09,622 --> 00:46:10,995
No.
With what
you were watching

789
00:46:11,030 --> 00:46:12,095
the first time
I came in here, I just...

790
00:46:12,130 --> 00:46:14,229
(CHUCKLES) I am not
attracted to you.

791
00:46:14,264 --> 00:46:17,463
Please, you gotta believe me
when I say
I'm not attracted to you.

792
00:46:17,498 --> 00:46:18,530
You're a fetus.

793
00:46:21,337 --> 00:46:22,534
I'm sorry.

794
00:46:24,208 --> 00:46:25,273
(SIGHS)

795
00:46:29,378 --> 00:46:31,378
Thomas, tell me the truth.

796
00:46:34,383 --> 00:46:35,481
You find me disgusting?

797
00:46:38,926 --> 00:46:39,925
No.

798
00:46:42,490 --> 00:46:43,621
I just want to help.

799
00:46:44,657 --> 00:46:46,558
Please, just let me help.

800
00:46:56,042 --> 00:46:58,306
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

801
00:46:58,341 --> 00:47:00,407
Thank you.
That's very helpful.

802
00:47:07,350 --> 00:47:09,955
What happened to your...
Sorry. Your friend, Liz,

803
00:47:09,990 --> 00:47:12,419
she said
that your boyfriend,

804
00:47:12,454 --> 00:47:14,355
he used to go to New Life?
(DOOR OPENS)

805
00:47:16,964 --> 00:47:18,194
LIZ: Charlie?
Yeah.

806
00:47:19,065 --> 00:47:21,032
I got you this.

807
00:47:21,067 --> 00:47:22,528
I did some
asking around, and...

808
00:47:24,730 --> 00:47:26,532
What the fuck
is he doing here?

809
00:47:26,567 --> 00:47:28,270
He's just helping me
with something.

810
00:47:28,305 --> 00:47:29,634
Take it easy, Liz.

811
00:47:29,669 --> 00:47:32,043
Okay, well, you can go now.

812
00:47:32,474 --> 00:47:33,473
Liz.

813
00:47:34,641 --> 00:47:35,640
Go home!

814
00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:38,445
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Leave it.

815
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,480
(CHARLIE GRUNTS)
I said, leave it!

816
00:47:40,515 --> 00:47:42,449
CHARLIE:
Liz, would you stop?

817
00:47:44,387 --> 00:47:47,520
Actually, stay.
We'll have a little chat.

818
00:47:51,559 --> 00:47:52,558
What's this?

819
00:47:54,034 --> 00:47:55,132
The fuck does it look like?

820
00:47:57,565 --> 00:47:59,565
It's a fat-guy wheelchair.

821
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,567
And why do I need
a wheelchair?

822
00:48:01,602 --> 00:48:04,702
I was talking to one
of the ER doctors,

823
00:48:04,737 --> 00:48:08,046
He said moderate activity
would be a good idea.

824
00:48:08,081 --> 00:48:09,641
Sense of independence
might help you out.

825
00:48:09,676 --> 00:48:10,842
And what did you pay
for this thing?

826
00:48:10,877 --> 00:48:13,282
Nothing. We ordered it
for a patient
a few months ago.

827
00:48:13,317 --> 00:48:14,415
It's just been sitting around.

828
00:48:14,450 --> 00:48:15,482
What happened to the patient?

829
00:48:17,024 --> 00:48:19,057
Just try it out.

830
00:48:19,092 --> 00:48:20,091
Please.

831
00:48:21,127 --> 00:48:22,291
(SIGHS)

832
00:48:23,030 --> 00:48:24,656
(GRUNTING)

833
00:48:27,595 --> 00:48:29,298
(EXHALES SHARPLY)

834
00:48:30,334 --> 00:48:33,731
Beep. Beep. Beep.

835
00:48:35,570 --> 00:48:38,472
(LAUGHING)

836
00:48:39,607 --> 00:48:41,211
CHARLIE: Can I sit?
I gotcha.

837
00:48:42,412 --> 00:48:44,379
(CHARLIE GROANING)

838
00:48:47,054 --> 00:48:48,119
(CHUCKLES)

839
00:48:49,452 --> 00:48:51,452
Good?
Yeah, actually,
this is really nice.

840
00:48:54,094 --> 00:48:55,357
Yeah.

841
00:48:55,392 --> 00:48:57,095
Let me clear
some space for you.

842
00:48:57,658 --> 00:48:58,657
CHARLIE: Whee.

843
00:49:00,265 --> 00:49:01,264
Hello?

844
00:49:06,403 --> 00:49:07,534
CHARLIE: Look, no hands.

845
00:49:09,505 --> 00:49:11,439
Thank you, Liz.
This is great, so great.

846
00:49:11,474 --> 00:49:14,673
(CHUCKLES) See? I told you.
CHARLIE: I know.

847
00:49:14,708 --> 00:49:16,444
I should go.
Ah-pap-pap.

848
00:49:16,479 --> 00:49:17,676
Not until we have
our little chat.

849
00:49:19,152 --> 00:49:20,679
What?
LIZ: Come on.

850
00:49:27,391 --> 00:49:28,522
Liz.

851
00:49:28,557 --> 00:49:30,161
Just gimme a minute with him.

852
00:49:39,865 --> 00:49:41,436
(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)

853
00:49:57,685 --> 00:49:58,684
Where are you from?

854
00:50:00,193 --> 00:50:01,226
What?

855
00:50:01,261 --> 00:50:03,095
You said you've only been here
for a little while.

856
00:50:06,298 --> 00:50:07,759
Where you from?

857
00:50:07,794 --> 00:50:11,136
Uh, Iowa.
A town called Waterloo?

858
00:50:11,765 --> 00:50:12,797
You asking me?

859
00:50:13,701 --> 00:50:15,173
No. I'm from Waterloo.

860
00:50:15,604 --> 00:50:17,208
Okay.

861
00:50:17,243 --> 00:50:19,309
Your whole family
move out here for New Life?

862
00:50:20,312 --> 00:50:21,773
No, it's just me.

863
00:50:21,808 --> 00:50:24,314
I wanted to do
some missionary work
before school.

864
00:50:24,349 --> 00:50:25,711
(CHUCKLES)

865
00:50:25,746 --> 00:50:28,153
You're from Iowa,

866
00:50:28,188 --> 00:50:31,453
and you came to Idaho
to do missionary work?

867
00:50:31,488 --> 00:50:33,323
Why aren't you
in Africa or something?

868
00:50:33,358 --> 00:50:35,160
Idaho needs the Word
as much as anywhere else.

869
00:50:42,235 --> 00:50:43,828
Okay, listen.

870
00:50:43,863 --> 00:50:45,467
I know this is fun for you.

871
00:50:45,502 --> 00:50:46,666
You get to travel around,

872
00:50:46,701 --> 00:50:48,305
act superior than
everyone else,

873
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,736
and eventually, you go home,

874
00:50:50,771 --> 00:50:52,870
get some boring job,
have too many kids.

875
00:50:52,905 --> 00:50:53,737
It's God's plan.

876
00:50:53,773 --> 00:50:57,149
But there are
other types of people.

877
00:50:57,184 --> 00:50:58,414
People like Charlie,

878
00:50:58,449 --> 00:51:01,648
for whom this amazing plan
doesn't fit.

879
00:51:02,717 --> 00:51:05,850
So, just stay away from him.

880
00:51:05,885 --> 00:51:07,324
He doesn't need this
right now.

881
00:51:09,658 --> 00:51:11,394
I disagree.

882
00:51:11,429 --> 00:51:14,166
(EXHALES) Excuse me?
Sorry, I just, uh...

883
00:51:14,201 --> 00:51:15,563
He's dying.

884
00:51:15,598 --> 00:51:17,202
He's refusing
to go to the hospital.

885
00:51:17,237 --> 00:51:18,764
What he needs
is spiritual guidance.

886
00:51:18,799 --> 00:51:20,271
And you're gonna
give him that?

887
00:51:20,306 --> 00:51:22,306
No. God will.

888
00:51:24,937 --> 00:51:26,145
I see.

889
00:51:45,265 --> 00:51:47,364
My big brother
did some missionary work
for New Life.

890
00:51:49,434 --> 00:51:50,664
Went to South America.

891
00:51:51,469 --> 00:51:53,634
Oh.
Yeah.

892
00:51:53,669 --> 00:51:54,635
I was the black sheep.

893
00:51:54,670 --> 00:51:57,275
I refused to go to church
ever since I was 12.

894
00:51:58,311 --> 00:51:59,706
Dad knew
I was a lost cause,

895
00:52:02,249 --> 00:52:06,251
but not my brother,
he loved New Life.

896
00:52:06,286 --> 00:52:08,352
He wrote me a letter
a few months after he left,

897
00:52:08,387 --> 00:52:10,486
told me he was tired,

898
00:52:10,521 --> 00:52:11,949
and lonely, but he didn't
want to come home

899
00:52:11,984 --> 00:52:13,423
because he didn't want
to get married.

900
00:52:14,459 --> 00:52:15,623
He didn't want to get married?

901
00:52:15,658 --> 00:52:17,427
Dad had set it all up.

902
00:52:17,462 --> 00:52:18,428
Pushed him
into getting married

903
00:52:18,463 --> 00:52:21,827
to this girl from the church
he barely knew.

904
00:52:21,862 --> 00:52:24,401
But when he came back,
he met someone else.

905
00:52:24,436 --> 00:52:26,436
Fell in love,
started a whole new life.

906
00:52:26,471 --> 00:52:29,505
And Dad kicked him out
of the church.

907
00:52:30,409 --> 00:52:31,441
And the family.

908
00:52:33,313 --> 00:52:34,543
I thought he was gonna be able

909
00:52:34,578 --> 00:52:36,611
to get over
all that religious stuff,

910
00:52:36,646 --> 00:52:39,911
but it was like a cancer.

911
00:52:39,946 --> 00:52:42,485
He couldn't shake it.

912
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,322
He just caved in on himself,

913
00:52:44,357 --> 00:52:45,785
stopped sleeping,
stopped eating.

914
00:52:45,820 --> 00:52:46,951
Lost a ton of weight.

915
00:52:48,658 --> 00:52:50,526
One night,
he doesn't come home.

916
00:52:52,662 --> 00:52:54,563
Couple weeks later,
this guy is out jogging

917
00:52:54,598 --> 00:52:56,400
on a bike path
near the river in Lewiston,

918
00:52:56,435 --> 00:52:57,995
sees something washed up
on shore,

919
00:52:58,030 --> 00:52:59,832
and that was Alan.

920
00:53:02,309 --> 00:53:04,474
The love of Charlie's life,
and my brother.

921
00:53:05,972 --> 00:53:08,412
Oh.
Yeah. "Oh."

922
00:53:08,447 --> 00:53:10,942
To this day,
my dad won't admit it.

923
00:53:10,977 --> 00:53:13,483
Told the whole congregation
Alan's death was...

924
00:53:15,421 --> 00:53:17,454
just an unfortunate accident.

925
00:53:20,085 --> 00:53:22,855
Denying him to the end.

926
00:53:31,866 --> 00:53:34,834
Look, I know
that you don't trust me.

927
00:53:34,869 --> 00:53:37,507
And I know
that I haven't known him
for very long,

928
00:53:37,542 --> 00:53:40,477
but I really think
that God brought me here,

929
00:53:40,512 --> 00:53:42,677
right when Charlie
needs it the most.

930
00:53:42,712 --> 00:53:45,548
I just want him to be saved,
that's all...
You listen to me!

931
00:53:45,583 --> 00:53:46,912
He doesn't need saving!

932
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,586
In a few days, he's probably
going to be dead,

933
00:53:50,621 --> 00:53:53,050
so what he needs
is for you to leave him alone.

934
00:53:53,085 --> 00:53:54,722
I'm the only one
who can help him.

935
00:53:54,757 --> 00:53:56,053
You understand me?
CHARLIE: Liz.

936
00:54:05,031 --> 00:54:06,569
(LIZ SIGHS)

937
00:54:10,102 --> 00:54:12,839
(CUTLERY CLACKING)

938
00:54:18,715 --> 00:54:20,550
(CHARLIE WHEEZES SOFTLY)

939
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,081
(TV TURNS ON)

940
00:54:24,116 --> 00:54:26,985
You wanna watch some<i> Maury?</i>

941
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:29,988
Sounds good, right?

942
00:54:30,023 --> 00:54:33,530
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

943
00:54:33,565 --> 00:54:35,092
Actually, I got
another night shift tonight.

944
00:54:35,127 --> 00:54:36,731
I better, uh...

945
00:54:36,766 --> 00:54:37,665
You good for the night?

946
00:54:39,769 --> 00:54:42,066
(SMACKS LIPS)
I'll leave the remote here.

947
00:54:47,513 --> 00:54:49,040
(DOOR OPENS)

948
00:54:52,815 --> 00:54:53,847
(DOOR CLOSES)

949
00:54:55,917 --> 00:54:57,389
(LOCK CLICKS)

950
00:55:18,742 --> 00:55:20,104
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

951
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,142
(LIGHT SWITCH CLICKING)

952
00:55:28,213 --> 00:55:29,487
(SIGHS)

953
00:55:36,089 --> 00:55:37,561
(SIGHS)

954
00:55:43,503 --> 00:55:45,899
(SNIFFING)

955
00:55:47,771 --> 00:55:49,969
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

956
00:56:00,784 --> 00:56:01,783
(DOOR SHUTS)

957
00:56:12,125 --> 00:56:13,498
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

958
00:56:13,533 --> 00:56:14,928
MAN: Gambino's!

959
00:56:14,963 --> 00:56:16,963
Yeah. You can, uh...

960
00:56:16,998 --> 00:56:19,196
MAN: Money in the mailbox,
leave it on the bench.

961
00:56:20,507 --> 00:56:21,803
Yeah. Thanks.

962
00:56:23,873 --> 00:56:24,872
MAN: I'm Dan.

963
00:56:27,613 --> 00:56:28,810
What?

964
00:56:28,845 --> 00:56:31,780
DAN: I just...
My name, it's Dan.

965
00:56:33,685 --> 00:56:36,147
I've been coming here
for a while now.

966
00:56:36,182 --> 00:56:38,182
Just thought you'd wanna know
my name.

967
00:56:40,824 --> 00:56:41,856
Charlie.

968
00:56:43,156 --> 00:56:44,661
DAN: Hey, Charlie.

969
00:56:44,696 --> 00:56:46,993
(MAILBOX OPENS, CLOSES)

970
00:56:47,028 --> 00:56:48,225
DAN: Have a good night, okay?

971
00:56:49,030 --> 00:56:52,900
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

972
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,073
<i>...it sure did.</i>

973
00:56:58,108 --> 00:57:00,644
<i>More Idaho Republicans</i>
<i>want to see Senator Ted Cruz</i>

974
00:57:00,679 --> 00:57:02,580
<i>in the White House</i>
<i>than any other candidate.</i>

975
00:57:02,615 --> 00:57:05,550
<i>Cruz will split</i>
<i>Idaho's 32 delegates</i>

976
00:57:05,585 --> 00:57:06,885
<i>with Donald Trump,</i>

977
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:10,148
<i>the only other candidate</i>
<i>to clear that 20% threshold.</i>

978
00:57:10,183 --> 00:57:13,217
<i>It was a disappointing night</i>
<i>for Senator Marco Rubio</i>

979
00:57:13,252 --> 00:57:15,120
<i>who failed to win</i>
<i>any delegates</i>

980
00:57:15,155 --> 00:57:17,859
<i>in the four states</i>
<i>that held primaries, while...</i>
(SWITCHES TV OFF)

981
00:57:25,033 --> 00:57:26,901
(WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING)

982
00:57:45,020 --> 00:57:46,855
"This apartment smells.

983
00:57:46,890 --> 00:57:50,925
"This notebook is retarded.
I hate everyone."

984
00:57:52,698 --> 00:57:53,697
(SIGHS)

985
00:58:00,167 --> 00:58:03,003
(SYLLABICALLY)
This apartment smells.

986
00:58:03,038 --> 00:58:07,139
This notebook is retarded.

987
00:58:07,174 --> 00:58:10,109
I hate everyone. (LAUGHING)

988
00:58:12,784 --> 00:58:14,179
(COUGHING, WHEEZING)

989
00:58:14,214 --> 00:58:16,786
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)

990
00:58:16,821 --> 00:58:18,315
(COUGHS)

991
00:58:18,350 --> 00:58:22,022
(BREATHING LABORIOUSLY)

992
00:58:23,696 --> 00:58:25,289
And I felt saddest of all

993
00:58:26,325 --> 00:58:28,193
when I read
the boring chapters

994
00:58:29,394 --> 00:58:31,603
that were only descriptions
of whales

995
00:58:32,397 --> 00:58:34,067
because (EXHALES) I knew

996
00:58:35,873 --> 00:58:38,676
that the author
was just trying to save us

997
00:58:38,711 --> 00:58:40,205
from his own sad story,

998
00:58:41,406 --> 00:58:42,845
just for a little while.

999
00:58:44,684 --> 00:58:46,112
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

1000
00:58:46,147 --> 00:58:47,619
This apartment smells.

1001
00:58:49,953 --> 00:58:52,184
(INHALES DEEPLY)
This apartment smells.

1002
00:58:55,222 --> 00:58:56,958
The author
was just trying to save us

1003
00:58:56,993 --> 00:58:58,223
from his own sad story.

1004
00:58:59,897 --> 00:59:01,061
I hate everyone.

1005
00:59:05,397 --> 00:59:06,605
I hate everyone.

1006
00:59:12,338 --> 00:59:13,337
Do you have it?

1007
00:59:14,274 --> 00:59:15,306
CHARLIE: I'm almost done.

1008
00:59:17,783 --> 00:59:20,751
You can wait
while I finish it up,

1009
00:59:23,217 --> 00:59:24,249
print it out.

1010
00:59:27,089 --> 00:59:29,089
Maybe while you're waiting,

1011
00:59:29,124 --> 00:59:31,993
you can write some more
in your notebook.
Oh, my God.

1012
00:59:32,028 --> 00:59:34,193
You've only written
a couple sentences so far.

1013
00:59:34,228 --> 00:59:35,060
Can you write more?

1014
00:59:35,096 --> 00:59:37,097
I kind of hate you.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

1015
00:59:37,132 --> 00:59:39,737
Well, you hate everyone.

1016
00:59:40,773 --> 00:59:42,366
Listen, just keep going.

1017
00:59:43,303 --> 00:59:44,302
Forget about the poem.

1018
00:59:44,338 --> 00:59:47,239
Write whatever you want,
whatever you're thinking.

1019
00:59:47,274 --> 00:59:48,878
(BAG THUDS)
Okay. Be quiet, just...

1020
00:59:59,451 --> 01:00:01,055
(EXHALES DEEPLY)

1021
01:00:05,765 --> 01:00:08,898
You know, I was in
a really strange place
in my life

1022
01:00:08,933 --> 01:00:10,867
when I married your mom.
Did I fucking ask?

1023
01:00:12,068 --> 01:00:13,771
I just wish...

1024
01:00:13,806 --> 01:00:15,003
I'm sor... I'm sorry.

1025
01:00:25,411 --> 01:00:27,180
I understand
that you're angry.

1026
01:00:28,348 --> 01:00:29,479
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

1027
01:00:29,514 --> 01:00:30,755
But...

1028
01:00:33,353 --> 01:00:37,861
you don't have to be angry
at the whole world.

1029
01:00:41,262 --> 01:00:43,834
You can just be angry at me.

1030
01:00:43,869 --> 01:00:45,099
(AGGRESSIVELY)
Okay, you know what?

1031
01:00:45,134 --> 01:00:47,365
You can't throw me away
like a piece of garbage,

1032
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,808
and then suddenly
just want to be my dad
eight years later.

1033
01:00:50,843 --> 01:00:53,745
You left me
for your boyfriend.

1034
01:00:53,780 --> 01:00:55,747
(SIGHS)
It's that simple.

1035
01:00:55,782 --> 01:00:57,342
And if you've been
telling yourself
anything different,

1036
01:00:57,377 --> 01:00:58,816
then you're lying to yourself.

1037
01:01:03,086 --> 01:01:04,285
But you know what? I'm glad.

1038
01:01:04,321 --> 01:01:07,352
I'm glad,
because you taught me
something very important.

1039
01:01:08,091 --> 01:01:10,861
People are assholes.

1040
01:01:11,930 --> 01:01:13,424
Most people learn that
way too late.

1041
01:01:14,559 --> 01:01:16,900
You... You taught me that
when I was eight.

1042
01:01:19,366 --> 01:01:20,739
Thank you for that.

1043
01:01:31,180 --> 01:01:32,278
You know, you could've...

1044
01:01:33,512 --> 01:01:35,380
What?

1045
01:01:35,415 --> 01:01:36,821
ELLIE: You could've been
sending us money.

1046
01:01:38,990 --> 01:01:40,924
If you had
all that money saved up,

1047
01:01:40,959 --> 01:01:42,189
and wanted to be a part
of my life so bad,

1048
01:01:42,224 --> 01:01:43,960
you could've been
sending money to Mom.

1049
01:01:43,995 --> 01:01:44,961
I did.

1050
01:01:44,996 --> 01:01:46,996
ELLIE: Yeah, I mean more
than just child support.

1051
01:01:57,976 --> 01:01:59,008
I did.

1052
01:02:00,946 --> 01:02:04,409
When I left your mom,
she did not want me
around you.

1053
01:02:05,313 --> 01:02:06,917
I hoped

1054
01:02:06,952 --> 01:02:09,887
that she would change her mind
eventually, but she...

1055
01:02:09,922 --> 01:02:11,515
You could have
just fucking called me.

1056
01:02:13,057 --> 01:02:14,155
All this time, you...

1057
01:02:15,455 --> 01:02:17,191
You could have been
a part of my life.

1058
01:02:19,063 --> 01:02:20,161
Ellie.

1059
01:02:22,033 --> 01:02:23,098
Look at me.

1060
01:02:29,271 --> 01:02:31,843
Who would want me
to be a part of their life?

1061
01:02:43,989 --> 01:02:45,087
I'm hungry.

1062
01:02:47,157 --> 01:02:49,256
There's some stuff
for sandwiches in the fridge.

1063
01:02:54,395 --> 01:02:56,230
I'll make you one,
but it's going to be small.

1064
01:03:00,566 --> 01:03:02,269
And I'm only using turkey,

1065
01:03:03,107 --> 01:03:04,271
and no mayonnaise.

1066
01:03:09,641 --> 01:03:11,344
What?
Nothing.

1067
01:03:12,611 --> 01:03:14,512
You're an amazing
person, Ellie.

1068
01:03:14,547 --> 01:03:18,285
I hope you know
what an amazing person
you are.

1069
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:21,486
I couldn't ask
for a more
incredible daughter.

1070
01:03:24,524 --> 01:03:26,194
I'll print that out
for you now.

1071
01:03:33,170 --> 01:03:34,202
(BIRD WINGS FLAP)

1072
01:03:41,343 --> 01:03:42,914
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

1073
01:03:46,678 --> 01:03:47,952
(GRATING)

1074
01:03:50,286 --> 01:03:51,285
(LIGHTER CLICKS)

1075
01:03:52,090 --> 01:03:54,090
(CHARLIE BREATHES HEAVILY)

1076
01:04:13,111 --> 01:04:14,242
(LIGHTER CLICKS)

1077
01:04:29,193 --> 01:04:30,555
(SNORES SOFTLY)

1078
01:04:30,590 --> 01:04:31,589
(PILLS RATTLE)

1079
01:04:48,278 --> 01:04:49,673
(DOOR CREAKS)

1080
01:05:15,404 --> 01:05:16,502
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

1081
01:05:20,739 --> 01:05:22,475
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
ELLIE: Yeah?

1082
01:05:22,510 --> 01:05:24,213
THOMAS: Uh... Hello?

1083
01:05:27,185 --> 01:05:28,514
(KNOCKS) Hi.

1084
01:05:30,287 --> 01:05:31,286
ELLIE: Come on.

1085
01:05:32,553 --> 01:05:33,684
Is he...

1086
01:05:33,719 --> 01:05:34,818
Is he okay?
I don't know.

1087
01:05:34,854 --> 01:05:37,292
I ground up some Ambien
and I put it in his sandwich.

1088
01:05:37,327 --> 01:05:38,392
What?

1089
01:05:38,427 --> 01:05:40,097
I only gave him a couple.
He's fine.

1090
01:05:40,132 --> 01:05:41,263
I can take, like,
three at a time.

1091
01:05:41,298 --> 01:05:42,462
THOMAS: Where
did you get Ambien?

1092
01:05:42,497 --> 01:05:43,628
I had sex with a pharmacist.

1093
01:05:45,632 --> 01:05:47,434
I'm kidding. Gross.

1094
01:05:47,469 --> 01:05:49,172
My mom pops them
like Tic Tacs.

1095
01:05:49,207 --> 01:05:51,075
I don't know if he should
be taking Ambien.

1096
01:05:53,541 --> 01:05:56,080
Does this make you nervous?
'Cause it's just pot.

1097
01:05:56,115 --> 01:05:57,807
It's not like
I'm smoking meth or anything.

1098
01:05:57,842 --> 01:05:59,710
I know. I...
I know what pot is, okay?

1099
01:05:59,745 --> 01:06:01,679
No. You only think
you know what pot is

1100
01:06:01,714 --> 01:06:03,813
because your parents told you
a bunch of lies about it.

1101
01:06:03,848 --> 01:06:05,485
Don't. I know what drugs are.

1102
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:08,389
I've smoked pot before.
Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed.

1103
01:06:08,424 --> 01:06:10,193
I wasn't trying
to impress you.

1104
01:06:10,228 --> 01:06:12,492
You've not smoked pot before.
Yes, I have. It...

1105
01:06:14,496 --> 01:06:15,627
It was kind of a problem.

1106
01:06:16,795 --> 01:06:18,201
That is the stupidest
fucking thing

1107
01:06:18,236 --> 01:06:19,068
I've ever heard
in my entire life.

1108
01:06:19,104 --> 01:06:21,732
I was smoking every day.
I had a problem.

1109
01:06:21,767 --> 01:06:24,834
You were a stoner.
You had a hobby.

1110
01:06:24,869 --> 01:06:26,803
All right, I'm gonna go.
Just tell him I was here
and I'll...

1111
01:06:26,838 --> 01:06:29,245
If you leave, I'll feed him
the rest of the pills
I have in the bottle.

1112
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:30,840
What?
Yeah.

1113
01:06:30,875 --> 01:06:33,612
There's, like, 20,
30 more in here.

1114
01:06:34,549 --> 01:06:35,812
I'll crush them up,

1115
01:06:35,847 --> 01:06:37,847
I'll put them in some water,
(PUTS BOTTLE DOWN)

1116
01:06:37,882 --> 01:06:39,255
and I'll pour it
down his throat.

1117
01:06:40,192 --> 01:06:41,323
You wouldn't actually do that,

1118
01:06:41,358 --> 01:06:42,489
would you?
Sit down.

1119
01:06:49,564 --> 01:06:50,728
So, why do you keep
coming back here?

1120
01:06:52,897 --> 01:06:54,138
He needs help.

1121
01:06:55,273 --> 01:06:56,305
He needs God in his life
right now.

1122
01:06:56,340 --> 01:06:57,405
That's a stupid reason.

1123
01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:00,804
Do you think he wants
to have sex with you?

1124
01:07:00,839 --> 01:07:03,213
That is so gross,
oh, my God. Take a hit.

1125
01:07:03,248 --> 01:07:04,610
I don't want...
If you don't take a hit,

1126
01:07:04,645 --> 01:07:05,945
I'm gonna call the police

1127
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:08,185
and I'm gonna tell them
that you tried to rape me.
Take a hit.

1128
01:07:10,585 --> 01:07:11,815
I don't understand you at all.

1129
01:07:12,455 --> 01:07:13,454
Oh, my God.

1130
01:07:14,787 --> 01:07:16,292
Is there a carb on this?

1131
01:07:16,327 --> 01:07:17,722
Ooh, I'm impressed.

1132
01:07:17,757 --> 01:07:19,460
I wasn't trying
to impress you.

1133
01:07:19,495 --> 01:07:20,527
There isn't a carb.

1134
01:07:24,698 --> 01:07:25,862
(SIGHS)

1135
01:07:30,374 --> 01:07:31,538
(CAMERA CLICKS)
(COUGHS)

1136
01:07:32,541 --> 01:07:33,640
Calm down.

1137
01:07:33,676 --> 01:07:35,344
(COUGHING) What are you
gonna do with that picture?

1138
01:07:35,379 --> 01:07:36,708
I'm gonna masturbate to it.

1139
01:07:36,743 --> 01:07:37,841
Is that what
you want me to say?

1140
01:07:37,876 --> 01:07:39,249
You're a pervert.
Take another hit.

1141
01:07:41,253 --> 01:07:43,352
Look, I'm just fucking
with you, all right?

1142
01:07:43,387 --> 01:07:44,815
I'm not gonna kill anyone,

1143
01:07:44,850 --> 01:07:47,851
I'm not gonna tell anyone
that you tried to rape me.

1144
01:07:47,886 --> 01:07:49,457
You're not going to give him
any more Ambien?

1145
01:07:49,492 --> 01:07:50,755
ELLIE: No.
(PILLS RATTLE)

1146
01:07:50,790 --> 01:07:52,493
(ZIPS BAG)

1147
01:07:52,528 --> 01:07:54,198
Why do you
keep coming back here?

1148
01:07:56,598 --> 01:07:58,334
I don't know.

1149
01:07:58,369 --> 01:07:59,863
Seriously, if you hate him
so much, then why...

1150
01:07:59,898 --> 01:08:01,436
I'm done answering
questions now.

1151
01:08:07,708 --> 01:08:08,806
Can I take another hit?

1152
01:08:10,612 --> 01:08:11,842
It goes against your religion,

1153
01:08:13,318 --> 01:08:14,482
and that makes you
a hypocrite.

1154
01:08:16,486 --> 01:08:17,485
Go ahead.

1155
01:08:22,921 --> 01:08:24,195
(INHALES)

1156
01:08:26,463 --> 01:08:28,496
(CAMERA CLICKS)

1157
01:08:28,531 --> 01:08:29,728
I really wish
that you wouldn't do that.

1158
01:08:29,763 --> 01:08:31,367
Yeah, I know.
I heard you the first time.

1159
01:08:32,568 --> 01:08:33,567
Do you find me attractive?

1160
01:08:34,405 --> 01:08:35,602
(HESITATES)

1161
01:08:35,637 --> 01:08:37,538
Because I'm not attracted
to you at all,

1162
01:08:38,310 --> 01:08:40,244
just to let you know.

1163
01:08:40,279 --> 01:08:41,443
I'm not trying to be mean
or anything.

1164
01:08:41,478 --> 01:08:42,774
I just don't think
you're very good-looking,

1165
01:08:43,744 --> 01:08:44,776
or interesting.

1166
01:08:45,515 --> 01:08:46,514
Or intelligent.

1167
01:08:46,813 --> 01:08:47,878
(SCOFFS)

1168
01:08:48,947 --> 01:08:50,386
Oh, my God, grow up.

1169
01:08:50,421 --> 01:08:51,717
Maybe someone else
finds you attractive.

1170
01:08:51,752 --> 01:08:52,718
Maybe my dad
finds you attractive.

1171
01:08:52,753 --> 01:08:54,819
I really wish you...
You know, it is so easy

1172
01:08:54,854 --> 01:08:55,886
to make you uncomfortable.

1173
01:08:55,921 --> 01:08:57,558
It's honestly...
It's a little sad.

1174
01:08:58,462 --> 01:08:59,461
You can cash that out.

1175
01:09:13,543 --> 01:09:16,445
(SCOFFS) If my parents knew
I was getting high,

1176
01:09:16,480 --> 01:09:17,875
getting high while out
witnessing for the church...

1177
01:09:17,910 --> 01:09:18,909
You're not from New Life.

1178
01:09:20,715 --> 01:09:21,781
What?

1179
01:09:21,816 --> 01:09:24,618
There's a kid in the grade
below me who goes there.

1180
01:09:24,653 --> 01:09:25,751
He told me
that they stopped doing

1181
01:09:25,786 --> 01:09:27,621
door-to-door stuff last year

1182
01:09:27,656 --> 01:09:29,854
when some woman
was out preaching
or whatever,

1183
01:09:29,889 --> 01:09:31,988
and a guy answered the door
with no clothes on.

1184
01:09:33,431 --> 01:09:35,431
I gotta go.
Who are you, really?

1185
01:09:36,962 --> 01:09:38,434
Come on, just tell me!

1186
01:09:39,668 --> 01:09:41,470
THOMAS: Why do you care?
Because I think we have

1187
01:09:41,505 --> 01:09:42,702
a blossoming friendship.

1188
01:09:44,409 --> 01:09:45,573
You're just messing with me.

1189
01:09:46,972 --> 01:09:48,279
ELLIE: No, I'm not.

1190
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:50,611
You're not going
to tell anyone?

1191
01:09:52,351 --> 01:09:53,350
Who am I gonna tell?

1192
01:10:01,624 --> 01:10:02,689
I was on a mission.

1193
01:10:06,398 --> 01:10:08,398
With a group from my church,
back in Waterloo,

1194
01:10:09,632 --> 01:10:10,895
my hometown in Iowa.

1195
01:10:12,371 --> 01:10:13,898
When my dad
caught me smoking pot,

1196
01:10:13,933 --> 01:10:16,604
he thought a mission
would be a good idea.

1197
01:10:16,639 --> 01:10:19,739
I mean, the truth is,
he's just embarrassed by me

1198
01:10:19,774 --> 01:10:21,972
and wanted me gone
for a while.

1199
01:10:22,843 --> 01:10:24,975
Anyway, I just left.

1200
01:10:28,420 --> 01:10:29,518
I couldn't do it anymore.

1201
01:10:31,555 --> 01:10:32,554
Why?

1202
01:10:33,689 --> 01:10:34,721
The mission leader,

1203
01:10:36,527 --> 01:10:37,493
this guy, Jerry,

1204
01:10:37,528 --> 01:10:39,088
all he had us doing
was standing on corners

1205
01:10:39,123 --> 01:10:41,057
and handing out pamphlets.

1206
01:10:41,092 --> 01:10:42,531
The end of each day,
he'd be like,

1207
01:10:42,566 --> 01:10:44,060
"Look how many people
we're helping," but...

1208
01:10:44,931 --> 01:10:45,996
I tried to talk to him

1209
01:10:46,031 --> 01:10:47,397
about different ways
we can minister.

1210
01:10:47,433 --> 01:10:50,737
I mean, different ways
that we could actually
help people. But...

1211
01:10:52,037 --> 01:10:54,510
You could just tell
that he didn't need to earn

1212
01:10:54,545 --> 01:10:55,907
or prove his faith at all.

1213
01:10:59,044 --> 01:11:02,518
After a while,
I was just, like,
"Am I really helping?"

1214
01:11:03,752 --> 01:11:05,587
No. You were not.

1215
01:11:07,151 --> 01:11:08,821
Yeah, I started to feel
that way, too.

1216
01:11:10,858 --> 01:11:11,757
I don't feel that way,

1217
01:11:11,793 --> 01:11:14,057
I know that you weren't
helping people.

1218
01:11:14,092 --> 01:11:15,465
It doesn't help people
to tell them

1219
01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:16,697
that they should believe
in God.

1220
01:11:16,732 --> 01:11:17,797
Why would that help people?

1221
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:20,569
THOMAS: I just thought...

1222
01:11:20,604 --> 01:11:22,538
I see all my family,
my friends,

1223
01:11:24,069 --> 01:11:25,475
they're all just so happy.

1224
01:11:30,515 --> 01:11:31,712
I just want to be like that.

1225
01:11:33,947 --> 01:11:35,012
So, why'd you leave, then?

1226
01:11:36,719 --> 01:11:39,082
I was worried
I was gonna get arrested.

1227
01:11:40,019 --> 01:11:41,018
For smoking pot?

1228
01:11:42,725 --> 01:11:43,922
For stealing from the mission.

1229
01:11:51,965 --> 01:11:54,900
One day,
I ditched the pamphlets.

1230
01:11:54,935 --> 01:11:55,834
I went door-to-door.

1231
01:11:55,870 --> 01:11:57,837
I started actually
engaging with people.

1232
01:11:57,872 --> 01:12:00,741
Finally. I mean, it felt
like I was doing something,

1233
01:12:00,776 --> 01:12:01,841
helping someone.

1234
01:12:03,614 --> 01:12:05,548
(SCOFFS)

1235
01:12:05,583 --> 01:12:08,518
And that night, I went back
to the mission meeting,

1236
01:12:08,553 --> 01:12:09,981
and I told everyone
what I did that day,

1237
01:12:10,016 --> 01:12:11,917
and Jerry was like,
"That's not
what we do, buddy."

1238
01:12:11,952 --> 01:12:13,252
And I was like,
"Well, why not?"

1239
01:12:13,287 --> 01:12:15,525
And we got
in this huge argument
in front of everyone, and...

1240
01:12:16,792 --> 01:12:17,824
(SIGHS)

1241
01:12:20,466 --> 01:12:23,632
And that night,
I decided to leave.

1242
01:12:23,667 --> 01:12:25,700
And when everyone
was asleep, I...

1243
01:12:25,735 --> 01:12:26,833
I took the petty cash.

1244
01:12:28,804 --> 01:12:29,869
ELLIE: How much?

1245
01:12:33,512 --> 01:12:35,545
$2,436.

1246
01:12:37,747 --> 01:12:39,076
Oh.

1247
01:12:39,111 --> 01:12:40,484
THOMAS: Yeah. "Oh."

1248
01:12:42,521 --> 01:12:43,320
I got on a bus.

1249
01:12:44,820 --> 01:12:46,688
Jerry and my parents
were calling me

1250
01:12:46,723 --> 01:12:47,953
over and over again.

1251
01:12:49,726 --> 01:12:51,088
I just tossed my phone.

1252
01:12:53,763 --> 01:12:56,533
After a while,
I wound up here.

1253
01:13:00,671 --> 01:13:02,605
THOMAS: I thought
I could use this money

1254
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:03,771
for my own mission.

1255
01:13:05,577 --> 01:13:08,138
You know, see my faith save
just one person.

1256
01:13:09,878 --> 01:13:11,911
But now I'm almost
out of money. I just...

1257
01:13:13,277 --> 01:13:15,552
I can't go home, and...

1258
01:13:15,587 --> 01:13:17,114
My parents probably
wanna disown me.

1259
01:13:22,957 --> 01:13:24,121
(SIGHS) I don't know
what to do.

1260
01:13:35,068 --> 01:13:36,672
You're more interesting
to me now.

1261
01:13:39,710 --> 01:13:40,742
Thanks.

1262
01:13:53,559 --> 01:13:54,954
So, that's why
you wanna save my dad.

1263
01:13:59,829 --> 01:14:00,828
(DOOR OPENS)

1264
01:14:05,967 --> 01:14:06,966
(CAMERA CLICKS)

1265
01:14:09,608 --> 01:14:10,607
(MAIN DOOR LOCK CLICKS)

1266
01:14:15,944 --> 01:14:17,108
Mom?

1267
01:14:17,143 --> 01:14:18,681
Don't freak out.
Shut up.

1268
01:14:21,147 --> 01:14:22,179
LIZ: You again?

1269
01:14:23,050 --> 01:14:24,214
Charlie?

1270
01:14:24,755 --> 01:14:25,754
Charlie?

1271
01:14:27,890 --> 01:14:28,955
Charlie?

1272
01:14:30,255 --> 01:14:31,694
(SOFTLY) Charlie.

1273
01:14:38,769 --> 01:14:39,999
(CHARLIE COUGHS)

1274
01:14:44,236 --> 01:14:45,268
(LIGHTER CLICKS)

1275
01:14:46,370 --> 01:14:47,644
Not with the oxygen tank.

1276
01:14:49,879 --> 01:14:50,878
I'll stand by the window.

1277
01:14:52,651 --> 01:14:53,650
(LIZ SIGHS)

1278
01:14:57,887 --> 01:15:00,987
Ellie told you
she was coming over?

1279
01:15:01,022 --> 01:15:02,725
LIZ: No. I did.

1280
01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:04,056
And just in time, looks like.

1281
01:15:05,224 --> 01:15:06,993
You having any more pain?

1282
01:15:07,028 --> 01:15:08,698
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

1283
01:15:08,733 --> 01:15:10,194
(SIGHS) How easy
is it to move?

1284
01:15:11,065 --> 01:15:12,262
Not very.

1285
01:15:12,297 --> 01:15:14,836
Any confusion?
Have you felt disoriented,

1286
01:15:14,871 --> 01:15:16,266
forgotten where you are
or what you're doing?

1287
01:15:16,301 --> 01:15:19,907
Am I okay?
No, you're not okay.

1288
01:15:19,942 --> 01:15:21,370
But as far
as the sleeping pills,
you're fine.

1289
01:15:21,405 --> 01:15:22,778
I don't think
she gave you much.

1290
01:15:22,813 --> 01:15:23,944
Yeah, that's what I told you.

1291
01:15:26,146 --> 01:15:27,684
You know, I was a very angry,

1292
01:15:27,719 --> 01:15:28,885
very stupid little girl
once, too,

1293
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:30,621
but if you would've given him
any more pills than that...

1294
01:15:30,656 --> 01:15:32,051
Yeah, but I didn't give him
more pills than that,

1295
01:15:32,086 --> 01:15:33,756
I gave him two pills.
Ellie?

1296
01:15:34,957 --> 01:15:36,187
How much money
did he offer you?

1297
01:15:42,195 --> 01:15:44,195
All of it?
How do you know
about the money?

1298
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,165
You think I'm an idiot?

1299
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,068
You think I would believe
that you were coming
over here

1300
01:15:49,103 --> 01:15:50,333
out of the kindness
of your heart?

1301
01:15:51,435 --> 01:15:54,810
(LAUGHS) Charlie
doesn't have any money.

1302
01:15:54,845 --> 01:15:56,812
(LIZ CONTINUES LAUGHING)

1303
01:15:56,847 --> 01:15:58,682
She doesn't know?
CHARLIE: Mary.

1304
01:15:58,717 --> 01:15:59,749
Where do you think
all the money

1305
01:15:59,784 --> 01:16:00,783
from his teaching
has been going?

1306
01:16:01,984 --> 01:16:03,148
The account for Ellie?

1307
01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:05,216
By now, it has to be huge.

1308
01:16:05,251 --> 01:16:06,888
Over $100,000 at least, right?

1309
01:16:08,793 --> 01:16:09,990
(WHEEZES SOFTLY)

1310
01:16:12,456 --> 01:16:13,862
That's not true, is it?

1311
01:16:17,802 --> 01:16:18,933
Charlie.

1312
01:16:20,299 --> 01:16:22,299
We could have gotten you
anything you needed.

1313
01:16:23,775 --> 01:16:25,203
Special beds,
physical therapists,

1314
01:16:25,238 --> 01:16:27,271
fucking health insurance!

1315
01:16:29,814 --> 01:16:31,209
Last winter,
when my pick-up broke down

1316
01:16:31,244 --> 01:16:32,441
and I had to walk
through the snow

1317
01:16:32,476 --> 01:16:33,816
to get your groceries
for you...

1318
01:16:33,851 --> 01:16:35,246
I offered to get
your truck fixed.

1319
01:16:35,281 --> 01:16:38,117
Yeah, and I refused
because I thought
you had $700

1320
01:16:38,152 --> 01:16:40,350
in your bank account.
The money is for Ellie.

1321
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:43,760
It's always been for Ellie.

1322
01:16:43,795 --> 01:16:46,158
If there was ever
any kind of emergency,

1323
01:16:46,193 --> 01:16:48,061
I would have given you
the money.
Would you?

1324
01:16:52,034 --> 01:16:53,066
Wait.

1325
01:16:53,101 --> 01:16:55,805
(PANTING)

1326
01:16:56,973 --> 01:16:58,302
Wait.
(DOOR SHUTS)

1327
01:17:01,406 --> 01:17:02,911
Mom, you're not getting
any of my money.

1328
01:17:02,946 --> 01:17:03,945
MARY: Oh, shut up, Ellie.

1329
01:17:05,784 --> 01:17:07,377
Leave, right now.

1330
01:17:10,789 --> 01:17:12,122
Wait.

1331
01:17:12,157 --> 01:17:15,220
Ellie, I know
you didn't mean to hurt me.
I know you didn't...

1332
01:17:15,255 --> 01:17:16,859
Okay, you know what?
Listen to me. Listen.

1333
01:17:16,894 --> 01:17:18,729
I don't care about you!

1334
01:17:18,764 --> 01:17:20,291
Get that through
your fucking skull.

1335
01:17:20,326 --> 01:17:22,733
(CRYING) Ellie, please.
Just fucking die already!

1336
01:17:23,263 --> 01:17:24,702
Enough!

1337
01:17:28,136 --> 01:17:29,399
Ellie, your... Your essay.

1338
01:17:33,174 --> 01:17:34,173
(OPENS DRAWER)

1339
01:17:37,816 --> 01:17:40,278
So... It's...

1340
01:17:43,250 --> 01:17:44,755
It's a really good essay!

1341
01:17:48,123 --> 01:17:49,991
(SOBS, WHEEZES)

1342
01:17:51,093 --> 01:17:52,422
(COUGHS)

1343
01:18:12,378 --> 01:18:14,411
(WHEEZES)
Jesus, Charlie.

1344
01:18:22,355 --> 01:18:23,420
Do you have anything?

1345
01:18:27,833 --> 01:18:29,261
It's above the sink,

1346
01:18:29,296 --> 01:18:31,230
the kitchen counter
on the left.

1347
01:18:33,300 --> 01:18:35,234
The other one.
(SNIFFLES) Yup.

1348
01:18:37,304 --> 01:18:39,469
(COUGHING, WHEEZING)

1349
01:18:39,504 --> 01:18:41,372
MARY: Our deal was

1350
01:18:41,407 --> 01:18:43,341
to wait until she's out
of the house
to give her the money.

1351
01:18:44,278 --> 01:18:45,915
What's the difference?

1352
01:18:45,950 --> 01:18:49,919
The difference is she's 17
and still in high school.

1353
01:18:49,954 --> 01:18:52,856
She's gonna spend it
on face tattoos
or ponies, or something.

1354
01:18:52,891 --> 01:18:55,155
I think that she's
a lot smarter than that.

1355
01:18:55,190 --> 01:18:56,387
(MARY SCOFFS)

1356
01:18:58,391 --> 01:18:59,390
So...

1357
01:19:02,494 --> 01:19:03,293
How's it been?

1358
01:19:04,936 --> 01:19:06,804
Getting to know her.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

1359
01:19:07,906 --> 01:19:10,236
She's amazing.
(MARY CHUCKLES)

1360
01:19:10,271 --> 01:19:12,271
(SIGHS) You still do that.

1361
01:19:14,110 --> 01:19:15,109
What?

1362
01:19:16,046 --> 01:19:17,474
That positivity.

1363
01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:20,213
It's so annoying.

1364
01:19:21,249 --> 01:19:22,446
You're a complete cynic.

1365
01:19:24,054 --> 01:19:25,922
Just trying to balance us out.

1366
01:19:25,957 --> 01:19:27,957
Yeah. I guess I do miss that.

1367
01:19:29,158 --> 01:19:30,190
That one thing.

1368
01:19:31,622 --> 01:19:32,830
Just that?

1369
01:19:34,658 --> 01:19:36,933
That, and the cooking.

1370
01:19:36,968 --> 01:19:39,936
Last month, tried to make
a stir-fry thing.
CHARLIE: Yeah?

1371
01:19:39,971 --> 01:19:41,630
Almost set the entire
apartment building on fire.

1372
01:19:41,665 --> 01:19:43,203
(LAUGHS)

1373
01:19:43,238 --> 01:19:45,106
(COUGHING)

1374
01:19:46,175 --> 01:19:48,175
(GASPS, COUGHS)

1375
01:19:48,540 --> 01:19:50,012
(GASPING)

1376
01:19:50,047 --> 01:19:53,983
(CONTINUES COUGHING)

1377
01:19:54,953 --> 01:19:56,150
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

1378
01:20:02,994 --> 01:20:04,620
I never knew
you were doing this
to yourself.

1379
01:20:06,228 --> 01:20:08,327
Well, you never asked
how I was doing.

1380
01:20:09,660 --> 01:20:11,429
You never asked
how I was doing either.

1381
01:20:12,663 --> 01:20:14,630
Every month, it's just,

1382
01:20:14,665 --> 01:20:17,501
"How much money do you need?"
or, "How's Ellie?"

1383
01:20:17,536 --> 01:20:20,570
You didn't tell me
that she's flunking
out of school.

1384
01:20:20,605 --> 01:20:22,209
I guess I just didn't need
the lecture

1385
01:20:22,244 --> 01:20:23,947
about my involvement
in her education.

1386
01:20:23,982 --> 01:20:26,444
That is not what I...
(EXHALES)

1387
01:20:29,548 --> 01:20:30,547
(EXHALES)

1388
01:20:32,485 --> 01:20:34,089
How're you doing, Mary?
(SCOFFS)

1389
01:20:39,624 --> 01:20:43,032
I know I'm not supposed
to be around her.

1390
01:20:43,067 --> 01:20:46,629
You could probably call
the police if you wanted to.
Oh, Christ.

1391
01:20:46,664 --> 01:20:48,169
You really think I'd do that?

1392
01:20:48,204 --> 01:20:50,974
You fought me pretty hard
for full custody.

1393
01:20:51,009 --> 01:20:53,240
And I don't blame you
for keeping her from me.

1394
01:20:53,275 --> 01:20:57,409
Charlie, need I remind you
that you left us.

1395
01:20:58,181 --> 01:20:59,312
I know.

1396
01:20:59,347 --> 01:21:01,248
And I was left raising our kid

1397
01:21:01,283 --> 01:21:04,581
and explaining to people
that my husband
left me for a man.

1398
01:21:04,616 --> 01:21:07,155
But you didn't
have to cut me out
of her life like that.

1399
01:21:07,190 --> 01:21:08,323
Oh, please.

1400
01:21:08,358 --> 01:21:10,488
You were more than happy
to forget about us for a while.

1401
01:21:10,523 --> 01:21:11,522
You know that.

1402
01:21:13,460 --> 01:21:15,427
I know I made
a lot of mistakes.

1403
01:21:17,662 --> 01:21:20,597
But I just wanted
to see her, Mary.

1404
01:21:20,632 --> 01:21:23,105
I've always just...
Just wanted to see her.

1405
01:21:24,504 --> 01:21:25,569
It's all about you.

1406
01:21:27,408 --> 01:21:29,144
Even now, huh?

1407
01:21:29,773 --> 01:21:31,542
(CHARLIE SIGHS HEAVILY)

1408
01:21:31,577 --> 01:21:33,247
Now you know why
I kept you from her.

1409
01:21:34,316 --> 01:21:35,315
What?

1410
01:21:37,055 --> 01:21:39,990
She's awful. Isn't she?

1411
01:21:40,025 --> 01:21:43,323
She's a terror.
And you think it's my fault.

1412
01:21:43,358 --> 01:21:48,163
Wait, is that why
you kept her from me
all this time?

1413
01:21:48,198 --> 01:21:52,365
Because you thought
that I would think
that you're a bad mother?

1414
01:21:53,467 --> 01:21:54,466
At first.

1415
01:21:55,733 --> 01:21:58,734
But later,
when she was 15, 16,

1416
01:22:01,079 --> 01:22:02,507
I was worried
she would hurt you.

1417
01:22:03,147 --> 01:22:04,146
Hurt me?

1418
01:22:05,380 --> 01:22:06,478
It's ridiculous.

1419
01:22:06,513 --> 01:22:08,315
I don't take any pleasure
in admitting it.

1420
01:22:08,350 --> 01:22:10,746
I'm her mother,
for Christ's sake.

1421
01:22:10,781 --> 01:22:13,584
You know, I spent
way too much time
telling myself,

1422
01:22:13,619 --> 01:22:16,026
you know,
"She's just rebellious,

1423
01:22:16,061 --> 01:22:17,192
"she's just difficult."

1424
01:22:19,559 --> 01:22:22,197
Charlie, she's evil.

1425
01:22:23,563 --> 01:22:24,727
She's not evil.

1426
01:22:31,472 --> 01:22:32,504
What are you doing?

1427
01:22:38,446 --> 01:22:40,050
(MARY TYPING)
You think it's just me?

1428
01:22:51,756 --> 01:22:55,098
"There'll be
a grease fire in hell
when he starts to burn."

1429
01:23:02,536 --> 01:23:03,535
Don't feel bad.

1430
01:23:05,110 --> 01:23:07,242
I've made
quite a few appearances
on that thing.

1431
01:23:10,874 --> 01:23:12,247
She's a strong writer.

1432
01:23:14,416 --> 01:23:16,185
(RAISES VOICE)
That's your response?

1433
01:23:16,220 --> 01:23:17,285
This isn't evil.

1434
01:23:17,782 --> 01:23:19,386
This is honesty.

1435
01:23:19,421 --> 01:23:21,817
Do you know how much bullshit
I've read in my life?

1436
01:23:21,852 --> 01:23:24,688
My God, I don't
understand you, Charlie!

1437
01:23:24,723 --> 01:23:26,723
Every time I call
and ask you how she's doing,

1438
01:23:26,758 --> 01:23:28,098
you say, "She's fine."

1439
01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:30,331
If she's so evil, then...

1440
01:23:30,366 --> 01:23:31,860
(MARY SHOUTING) What was I
supposed to tell you?

1441
01:23:31,895 --> 01:23:34,566
Huh? That she was off
making her classmates cry

1442
01:23:34,601 --> 01:23:36,139
or slashing
her teachers' tires?

1443
01:23:36,174 --> 01:23:37,437
You didn't want
to hear that stuff!

1444
01:23:37,472 --> 01:23:38,571
I could have helped her!

1445
01:23:38,607 --> 01:23:42,145
She doesn't want your help!
She doesn't want anyone!

1446
01:23:42,180 --> 01:23:44,147
You think I didn't want her
to have a dad?

1447
01:23:44,842 --> 01:23:46,512
She adored you!

1448
01:23:46,547 --> 01:23:48,382
The only reason
you married me
in the first place

1449
01:23:48,417 --> 01:23:50,219
was to have a kid,
I know that!

1450
01:23:50,254 --> 01:23:51,418
Mary, please!

1451
01:23:52,157 --> 01:23:53,222
(MARY SIGHS)

1452
01:23:57,294 --> 01:24:00,493
Well, this brings back
memories, doesn't it?

1453
01:24:02,530 --> 01:24:03,628
(SIGHS)

1454
01:24:04,664 --> 01:24:06,202
(WHEEZES, COUGHS)

1455
01:24:19,679 --> 01:24:20,678
Listen.

1456
01:24:23,518 --> 01:24:25,452
I never got to say
that I was sorry.

1457
01:24:27,357 --> 01:24:29,720
What would you have
to be sorry about?

1458
01:24:29,755 --> 01:24:30,820
That's not what I mean.

1459
01:24:32,494 --> 01:24:33,493
I mean...

1460
01:24:38,269 --> 01:24:40,566
About your friend.

1461
01:24:41,932 --> 01:24:43,140
Oh.

1462
01:24:46,673 --> 01:24:47,738
His name was Alan.

1463
01:24:47,773 --> 01:24:49,443
I know
his fucking name, Charlie.

1464
01:24:54,219 --> 01:24:55,218
I saw him once,

1465
01:24:56,815 --> 01:24:58,254
in the Walmart parking lot.

1466
01:24:59,224 --> 01:25:00,090
He wasn't looking too good,

1467
01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:02,159
and I don't think
it was long before he...

1468
01:25:04,394 --> 01:25:06,823
Anyway, I had
all these things that I...

1469
01:25:06,858 --> 01:25:07,857
I wanted to say to him,

1470
01:25:07,893 --> 01:25:09,760
you know, hurl at him
like bricks. (SNIFFLES)

1471
01:25:10,532 --> 01:25:12,499
But I...

1472
01:25:12,534 --> 01:25:14,171
I asked if he wanted
some help.

1473
01:25:16,637 --> 01:25:18,637
He let me carry
a couple of bags to his car,

1474
01:25:19,937 --> 01:25:21,244
he said thank you,

1475
01:25:22,841 --> 01:25:23,840
and I left.

1476
01:25:27,681 --> 01:25:29,285
I never even told him
who I was.

1477
01:25:32,884 --> 01:25:34,389
(WHEEZES SOFTLY)

1478
01:25:35,755 --> 01:25:37,359
(WHEEZING)

1479
01:25:38,395 --> 01:25:39,427
You're wheezing.

1480
01:25:40,793 --> 01:25:43,530
Yeah, it's gotten worse.

1481
01:25:44,434 --> 01:25:45,565
Should I call someone?

1482
01:25:46,304 --> 01:25:48,337
No. Um...

1483
01:25:53,608 --> 01:25:54,706
You'll let me hear?

1484
01:26:03,618 --> 01:26:04,782
(GRUNTS)

1485
01:26:19,634 --> 01:26:20,699
(HOARSELY) How do I sound?

1486
01:26:28,643 --> 01:26:30,973
That was the first time
we've all been together

1487
01:26:31,008 --> 01:26:33,778
in almost nine years.
Do you realize that?

1488
01:26:33,813 --> 01:26:34,944
(CHUCKLES DRYLY)

1489
01:26:43,559 --> 01:26:45,493
When Ellie was little,

1490
01:26:45,528 --> 01:26:49,266
when we took that trip
to the Oregon Coast together,

1491
01:26:50,335 --> 01:26:52,401
Ellie played
in the sand, and...

1492
01:26:52,766 --> 01:26:53,864
(SNIFFLES)

1493
01:26:53,899 --> 01:26:55,767
...we laid out on the beach.

1494
01:26:57,100 --> 01:26:58,737
I went swimming in the ocean.

1495
01:27:01,412 --> 01:27:03,907
That was the last time
I ever went
swimming, actually.

1496
01:27:06,978 --> 01:27:09,418
I kept cutting my legs
on the rocks.

1497
01:27:12,984 --> 01:27:14,984
The water was so cold.

1498
01:27:15,019 --> 01:27:16,491
(OCEAN WAVES SPLASHING)

1499
01:27:26,701 --> 01:27:30,505
And you were so mad
that my legs bled

1500
01:27:30,540 --> 01:27:32,804
and stained the seats
in the minivan.

1501
01:27:32,839 --> 01:27:34,072
(CHUCKLES)

1502
01:27:34,107 --> 01:27:38,711
And you said,
for days after that,
I smelled like seawater.

1503
01:27:38,746 --> 01:27:40,680
(CHARLIE LAUGHS)
(SNIFFLES)

1504
01:27:40,715 --> 01:27:42,418
(WHEEZES) You remember that?

1505
01:27:42,453 --> 01:27:45,487
(COUGHING)

1506
01:27:46,490 --> 01:27:48,050
(SNIFFLES)

1507
01:27:49,988 --> 01:27:51,328
You sound awful.

1508
01:27:52,826 --> 01:27:55,024
(SIGHS) I'm dying, Mary.

1509
01:27:59,096 --> 01:28:00,095
Fuck you.

1510
01:28:02,033 --> 01:28:03,373
I'm sorry.

1511
01:28:04,838 --> 01:28:05,936
Fuck you.

1512
01:28:08,842 --> 01:28:09,973
(CRYING) For sure?

1513
01:28:10,844 --> 01:28:13,482
Yeah. For sure.

1514
01:28:13,517 --> 01:28:15,616
(CRIES, SIGHS)

1515
01:28:15,651 --> 01:28:16,848
CHARLIE: Listen to me.

1516
01:28:19,853 --> 01:28:22,392
I need to make certain
that she's going to be okay.

1517
01:28:23,494 --> 01:28:24,691
We can't give up on her.

1518
01:28:25,529 --> 01:28:27,155
You already gave up on her!

1519
01:28:27,190 --> 01:28:29,124
You gave up on her
when she was eight years old!

1520
01:28:29,159 --> 01:28:32,160
I wish I could have been
a part of her life, Mary,

1521
01:28:32,195 --> 01:28:34,063
a part of both of your lives.

1522
01:28:34,098 --> 01:28:35,097
Go to the hospital.

1523
01:28:36,474 --> 01:28:38,705
You have money,
just go to the hospital!

1524
01:28:39,774 --> 01:28:44,106
We both know that
that money is for Ellie.

1525
01:28:45,109 --> 01:28:49,485
But beyond that,

1526
01:28:49,520 --> 01:28:53,588
I need to know
that she's gonna have
a decent life.

1527
01:28:54,723 --> 01:28:56,921
Where she cares about people

1528
01:28:56,956 --> 01:28:59,055
and other people
care about her.

1529
01:29:00,564 --> 01:29:02,564
(CRYING) And she's
gonna be okay.

1530
01:29:03,567 --> 01:29:04,533
I need to go.
Mary.

1531
01:29:04,568 --> 01:29:08,097
She doesn't have
anyone else!
I have to go.

1532
01:29:08,132 --> 01:29:10,770
(CRYING) I need to know
that I have done

1533
01:29:10,805 --> 01:29:13,608
one thing right with my life!

1534
01:29:17,174 --> 01:29:18,580
We both played our parts.

1535
01:29:20,078 --> 01:29:22,617
I raised her, and you're
giving her the money.

1536
01:29:23,246 --> 01:29:24,553
It's the best we could do.

1537
01:29:26,623 --> 01:29:27,754
(SIGHS)

1538
01:29:30,627 --> 01:29:31,626
Do you need anything

1539
01:29:33,058 --> 01:29:34,090
before I leave?

1540
01:29:35,093 --> 01:29:36,433
Water, or something.

1541
01:29:37,667 --> 01:29:39,062
(COUGHS)

1542
01:29:44,267 --> 01:29:45,673
(SIGHS)

1543
01:29:45,972 --> 01:29:47,169
(COUGHS)

1544
01:29:58,589 --> 01:29:59,720
(PHONE BUTTON BEEPS)

1545
01:29:59,755 --> 01:30:02,151
(SNORING)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)

1546
01:30:03,792 --> 01:30:05,759
(RAIN POURING)

1547
01:30:07,994 --> 01:30:10,533
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1548
01:30:10,568 --> 01:30:11,963
(COUGHS)

1549
01:30:26,012 --> 01:30:27,583
(WATER TRICKLING)

1550
01:30:45,867 --> 01:30:47,196
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

1551
01:30:47,231 --> 01:30:48,868
DAN: Gambino's!

1552
01:30:48,903 --> 01:30:51,002
(CHARLIE COUGHING) Yeah.

1553
01:30:51,037 --> 01:30:52,036
DAN: Charlie?

1554
01:30:53,237 --> 01:30:54,236
You okay?

1555
01:30:56,042 --> 01:30:57,910
CHARLIE: Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)

1556
01:30:59,584 --> 01:31:01,111
The money is in the, um...

1557
01:31:02,686 --> 01:31:03,718
DAN: Sure.

1558
01:31:03,753 --> 01:31:04,950
(MAILBOX OPENS)

1559
01:31:07,790 --> 01:31:09,152
DAN: You sure
you're doing okay?

1560
01:31:11,255 --> 01:31:13,255
Yeah. Thanks, Dan.

1561
01:31:13,290 --> 01:31:15,092
DAN: Have a good night, okay?

1562
01:31:15,765 --> 01:31:16,863
(MAILBOX CLOSES)

1563
01:31:22,068 --> 01:31:24,002
(RAIN POURING HEAVILY)

1564
01:31:40,856 --> 01:31:41,855
(MUMBLES)

1565
01:31:54,804 --> 01:31:56,936
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1566
01:32:09,115 --> 01:32:11,115
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1567
01:32:16,760 --> 01:32:18,287
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1568
01:32:25,395 --> 01:32:26,801
(TYPING)

1569
01:32:35,372 --> 01:32:37,009
(WHISPERING)
Fuck these essays.

1570
01:32:38,078 --> 01:32:39,242
Fuck these readings.

1571
01:32:41,818 --> 01:32:45,919
Just write something
fucking honest.
(BANGING KEYBOARD)

1572
01:32:49,727 --> 01:32:50,726
(SLAMS LAPTOP SHUT)

1573
01:32:51,256 --> 01:32:52,255
(SIGHS)

1574
01:32:55,227 --> 01:32:57,359
(INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)

1575
01:33:39,942 --> 01:33:41,337
(RETCHES)

1576
01:33:41,372 --> 01:33:42,811
(SPITS)

1577
01:33:42,846 --> 01:33:44,747
(COUGHS, WHEEZES)

1578
01:33:45,442 --> 01:33:47,112
(GASPS)

1579
01:33:47,444 --> 01:33:50,313
(COUGHING)

1580
01:33:54,319 --> 01:33:56,154
(CONTINUES COUGHING)

1581
01:33:57,454 --> 01:33:58,827
(STIFLES SOB)

1582
01:33:59,357 --> 01:34:01,489
(SOBBING)

1583
01:34:01,524 --> 01:34:03,227
(COUGHS, SOBS)

1584
01:34:08,938 --> 01:34:11,169
(CONTINUES SOBBING)

1585
01:34:11,204 --> 01:34:12,709
(COUGHS)

1586
01:34:15,780 --> 01:34:16,944
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

1587
01:34:16,979 --> 01:34:18,308
(GASPS) Liz?

1588
01:34:20,180 --> 01:34:22,213
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

1589
01:34:22,248 --> 01:34:23,379
THOMAS: Can I come inside?

1590
01:34:25,152 --> 01:34:26,184
It's not locked.

1591
01:34:28,452 --> 01:34:29,759
Hi.
What's wrong?

1592
01:34:30,421 --> 01:34:31,926
Thank you.
For what?

1593
01:34:31,961 --> 01:34:34,830
Look, I'm not exactly
who I said I was.

1594
01:34:34,865 --> 01:34:36,458
I'm not from New Life.

1595
01:34:36,493 --> 01:34:38,064
What? I... I don't...

1596
01:34:38,099 --> 01:34:40,033
I've been in a pretty bad
place recently.

1597
01:34:40,068 --> 01:34:41,430
I... I stole some money,

1598
01:34:41,465 --> 01:34:43,465
and I ran away from home
a few months ago.

1599
01:34:43,500 --> 01:34:46,336
And your daughter,
she took these pictures
of me smoking pot,

1600
01:34:46,371 --> 01:34:48,778
and a recording
or something like that,

1601
01:34:48,813 --> 01:34:50,978
and she found my church
in Waterloo somehow,

1602
01:34:51,013 --> 01:34:52,177
and then she sent it to them,

1603
01:34:52,212 --> 01:34:53,915
and they sent it
to my parents...
Wait.

1604
01:34:53,950 --> 01:34:55,147
...and you know
what they said?

1605
01:34:56,084 --> 01:34:57,116
"It's just money."

1606
01:34:58,218 --> 01:35:00,119
And they forgive me.

1607
01:35:00,154 --> 01:35:02,924
And they love me,
and they want me
to come home.

1608
01:35:04,521 --> 01:35:06,059
How awful is that?

1609
01:35:07,161 --> 01:35:09,832
Ellie, she...
She did all that?

1610
01:35:09,867 --> 01:35:14,100
I can't tell if she was trying
to help me or hurt me or...

1611
01:35:14,135 --> 01:35:15,431
Do you ever get
that feeling from her?
(CHUCKLES)

1612
01:35:15,466 --> 01:35:17,103
How did she even... She...

1613
01:35:18,975 --> 01:35:21,844
She found your church,
she tracked down your parents.

1614
01:35:23,177 --> 01:35:24,473
She really did all that?

1615
01:35:24,508 --> 01:35:26,211
Yeah. I mean,
I'm going home tomorrow.

1616
01:35:27,313 --> 01:35:28,950
But, Charlie, before I go...
(LAUGHS)

1617
01:35:28,985 --> 01:35:30,380
...I have to show you this.

1618
01:35:30,415 --> 01:35:32,316
(BREATHES UNCOMFORTABLY)

1619
01:35:32,351 --> 01:35:33,955
What... What's wrong?
(GRUNTS HEAVILY)

1620
01:35:33,990 --> 01:35:35,220
Wait, are you okay?

1621
01:35:35,255 --> 01:35:37,255
It just hurts.
Charlie,

1622
01:35:37,290 --> 01:35:39,521
I want to help you.
I know I can help you.

1623
01:35:39,556 --> 01:35:41,457
I'm not going to the hospital.

1624
01:35:41,492 --> 01:35:42,997
No, I know.
I'm not gonna make you go.

1625
01:35:43,032 --> 01:35:44,295
But I can help you.

1626
01:35:46,266 --> 01:35:47,870
"Therefore,
brothers and sisters..."
What are you doing?

1627
01:35:47,905 --> 01:35:49,201
"...we have an obligation,

1628
01:35:49,236 --> 01:35:51,434
"but it is not to the flesh,
to live according to it.

1629
01:35:51,469 --> 01:35:54,206
"For if you live
according to the flesh,
you will die.

1630
01:35:54,241 --> 01:35:56,571
"But if by the Spirit
you put to death

1631
01:35:56,606 --> 01:35:59,178
"the misdeeds of the body,
then you will live."

1632
01:35:59,213 --> 01:36:01,081
I... I don't understand.

1633
01:36:01,116 --> 01:36:04,018
Charlie, when I read this,
I finally got it.

1634
01:36:04,053 --> 01:36:07,384
I finally understood
why God brought me here
to you.

1635
01:36:07,419 --> 01:36:09,551
So I could help you understand
what happened to Alan,

1636
01:36:09,586 --> 01:36:11,091
so it doesn't happen
to you, too.

1637
01:36:14,129 --> 01:36:15,062
How did you get this?

1638
01:36:15,097 --> 01:36:18,494
Charlie, Alan tried
to escape God's will.

1639
01:36:18,529 --> 01:36:20,903
He chose his life with you
over God.

1640
01:36:20,938 --> 01:36:24,500
But this is why
he was so obsessed
with this verse.

1641
01:36:24,535 --> 01:36:26,304
He knew that he was living
in the flesh,

1642
01:36:26,339 --> 01:36:27,572
and not in the Spirit.

1643
01:36:27,607 --> 01:36:30,946
He never prayed for salvation,
but it's not too late for you.

1644
01:36:30,981 --> 01:36:32,541
Through the Spirit,
you can put to death

1645
01:36:32,576 --> 01:36:34,917
the misdeeds of the body,
and you will live.

1646
01:36:36,514 --> 01:36:39,053
You think Alan died
because he chose
to be with me?

1647
01:36:41,354 --> 01:36:42,991
You think God
turned his back on him

1648
01:36:43,026 --> 01:36:44,190
because he and I were in love?

1649
01:36:48,427 --> 01:36:49,426
Yes.

1650
01:36:54,334 --> 01:36:55,267
(SIGHS)

1651
01:36:58,041 --> 01:37:00,338
You know something?
I wasn't always this big.

1652
01:37:01,704 --> 01:37:03,979
Yeah, I know.

1653
01:37:04,014 --> 01:37:06,311
I mean, I wasn't
the best-looking guy
in the room, but...

1654
01:37:08,018 --> 01:37:09,017
Alan loved me.

1655
01:37:12,088 --> 01:37:13,186
He thought I was beautiful.

1656
01:37:17,720 --> 01:37:18,928
Okay.

1657
01:37:21,130 --> 01:37:22,899
Halfway through the semester,

1658
01:37:24,331 --> 01:37:27,970
he started meeting me
during my office hours.

1659
01:37:28,005 --> 01:37:32,172
And we were...
We were crazy
about one another.

1660
01:37:32,207 --> 01:37:34,240
But we waited

1661
01:37:34,275 --> 01:37:37,012
until the class
was over before...

1662
01:37:37,047 --> 01:37:38,080
This isn't, uh...

1663
01:37:38,115 --> 01:37:41,445
It was just after classes
had ended for the year.

1664
01:37:41,480 --> 01:37:43,381
It was perfect
temperature outside.

1665
01:37:44,450 --> 01:37:46,351
We took a walk
in the arboretum,

1666
01:37:48,993 --> 01:37:50,025
and we kissed.

1667
01:37:50,522 --> 01:37:52,291
Charlie, stop.

1668
01:37:52,326 --> 01:37:55,657
We would spend entire nights
lying together, naked.

1669
01:37:58,266 --> 01:37:59,364
We would make love.

1670
01:38:05,075 --> 01:38:06,173
We would make love.

1671
01:38:09,442 --> 01:38:11,112
Do you find that disgusting?

1672
01:38:11,147 --> 01:38:12,740
Charlie, God is ready
to help you.

1673
01:38:12,775 --> 01:38:16,315
Oh, I hope
that there isn't a God,

1674
01:38:16,350 --> 01:38:19,054
because I hate to think
that there's an afterlife,

1675
01:38:19,089 --> 01:38:22,552
and that Alan can see
what I have done to myself.

1676
01:38:22,587 --> 01:38:25,654
Charlie...
That he can see
my swollen feet

1677
01:38:25,689 --> 01:38:27,557
and the sores on my skin,

1678
01:38:27,592 --> 01:38:29,031
and the patches of mold

1679
01:38:29,066 --> 01:38:30,329
in between the flaps.
Stop.

1680
01:38:30,364 --> 01:38:32,397
The infected ulcers
on my ass,

1681
01:38:32,432 --> 01:38:36,104
and the sack of fat on my back
that turned brown last year.

1682
01:38:36,139 --> 01:38:38,106
Okay, stop!
This is disgusting?

1683
01:38:38,141 --> 01:38:40,207
Yes!
I'm disgusting?

1684
01:38:40,242 --> 01:38:42,110
(SHOUTING) Yes,
you're disgusting! You're...

1685
01:38:53,552 --> 01:38:55,321
(BREATH SHUDDERING,
WHISPERING) I'm sorry.

1686
01:38:59,129 --> 01:39:00,128
What?

1687
01:39:03,463 --> 01:39:05,463
Go home to your family.

1688
01:39:16,146 --> 01:39:18,344
(CHARLIE COUGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)

1689
01:39:19,743 --> 01:39:24,053
(DOOR CLOSES)
(CONTINUES COUGHING)

1690
01:39:25,716 --> 01:39:27,353
(COUGHS HEAVILY)

1691
01:39:54,679 --> 01:39:57,548
CHARLIE: Well,
your complaints
have been heard.

1692
01:39:58,386 --> 01:39:59,550
I've been replaced

1693
01:39:59,585 --> 01:40:01,717
by someone who will,
no doubt,

1694
01:40:01,752 --> 01:40:05,193
have you rewrite,
and rewrite, and rewrite,

1695
01:40:05,657 --> 01:40:08,163
be more objective,

1696
01:40:08,825 --> 01:40:10,231
less authentic,

1697
01:40:10,266 --> 01:40:12,761
less you, with every draft.

1698
01:40:15,733 --> 01:40:19,438
But some of you saw my post

1699
01:40:19,473 --> 01:40:22,408
about writing
something honest.

1700
01:40:25,743 --> 01:40:26,742
And...

1701
01:40:28,152 --> 01:40:29,151
(SIGHS)

1702
01:40:30,286 --> 01:40:32,088
...the things
that some of you wrote...

1703
01:40:33,916 --> 01:40:35,355
Kristy, you wrote,

1704
01:40:36,457 --> 01:40:39,524
"My parents want me
to be a radiologist,

1705
01:40:39,559 --> 01:40:42,164
"but I don't even know
what that is."

1706
01:40:48,700 --> 01:40:50,238
Julian, you wrote,

1707
01:40:50,273 --> 01:40:53,571
"I'm sick of people telling me
that I have promise."

1708
01:41:01,383 --> 01:41:02,448
Adam, you wrote,

1709
01:41:03,616 --> 01:41:05,517
"I think I need to accept
that my life

1710
01:41:05,552 --> 01:41:07,882
"isn't going to be
very exciting."

1711
01:41:11,228 --> 01:41:15,593
You all wrote these
amazing, honest things, and...

1712
01:41:17,729 --> 01:41:19,828
you've been so honest
with me that I... I...

1713
01:41:23,405 --> 01:41:24,536
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

1714
01:41:25,506 --> 01:41:26,835
...I just want to be...

1715
01:41:28,410 --> 01:41:29,805
honest with you, too.

1716
01:41:30,874 --> 01:41:32,214
(EXHALES)

1717
01:41:35,681 --> 01:41:37,714
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

1718
01:42:05,414 --> 01:42:06,644
(SIGHS HEAVILY)

1719
01:42:12,014 --> 01:42:13,717
<i>These assignments</i>
<i>don't matter.</i>

1720
01:42:15,523 --> 01:42:16,753
<i>This course doesn't matter.</i>

1721
01:42:18,889 --> 01:42:20,229
<i>College doesn't matter.</i>

1722
01:42:22,563 --> 01:42:25,498
<i>These amazing, honest things</i>
<i>that you wrote,</i>

1723
01:42:29,537 --> 01:42:30,635
they matter.

1724
01:42:34,674 --> 01:42:35,772
(LAPTOP CRASHES)

1725
01:42:38,007 --> 01:42:39,875
(CHARLIE WHEEZES)

1726
01:42:50,019 --> 01:42:51,425
(CHARLIE COUGHS)

1727
01:43:06,002 --> 01:43:07,870
(WHEEZING CONTINUES)

1728
01:43:12,074 --> 01:43:13,711
I'm sorry.
Don't.

1729
01:43:20,456 --> 01:43:21,950
(BREATHES ERRATICALLY)

1730
01:43:25,021 --> 01:43:26,394
(SUPPRESSES GRUNT)

1731
01:43:30,334 --> 01:43:32,763
I really hate you
for putting me through
this again, you know that?

1732
01:43:35,900 --> 01:43:37,438
Those last few months
before Alan...

1733
01:43:38,936 --> 01:43:41,442
I'd come over here,
shake him, scream at him,

1734
01:43:41,477 --> 01:43:43,477
just trying to get him
to fucking eat something.

1735
01:43:43,512 --> 01:43:46,040
God, that was awful!
It was awful for me, too.

1736
01:43:46,075 --> 01:43:47,448
Yeah? Well,
you weren't the one

1737
01:43:47,483 --> 01:43:48,878
who had to identify his body,

1738
01:43:48,913 --> 01:43:50,616
all bloated...
They wouldn't let me.

1739
01:43:52,081 --> 01:43:53,487
I wasn't family.

1740
01:43:55,051 --> 01:43:56,358
(SIGHS)

1741
01:44:02,630 --> 01:44:04,630
(CHARLIE COUGHS AND WHEEZES)

1742
01:44:07,635 --> 01:44:09,734
I got you two meatball subs.
Extra cheese.

1743
01:44:15,104 --> 01:44:16,840
(SIGHS, SNIFFLES)

1744
01:44:16,875 --> 01:44:18,006
I don't know what I'm doing.

1745
01:44:24,487 --> 01:44:26,718
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

1746
01:44:26,753 --> 01:44:28,885
I'm not going to the hospital.

1747
01:44:28,920 --> 01:44:30,458
I'm not asking you to.

1748
01:44:35,861 --> 01:44:37,696
I can't do this anymore.

1749
01:44:40,800 --> 01:44:42,536
I tried to save him, Liz.

1750
01:44:45,805 --> 01:44:47,739
I thought
that if I just loved him,

1751
01:44:50,678 --> 01:44:52,480
that he wouldn't need
anyone else.

1752
01:44:55,452 --> 01:44:56,880
I told him he didn't need God,

1753
01:44:58,180 --> 01:45:01,522
he didn't need anyone but me.

1754
01:45:03,427 --> 01:45:04,426
Charlie,

1755
01:45:05,891 --> 01:45:07,693
all I know
is that you gave Alan

1756
01:45:07,728 --> 01:45:08,958
the best years of his life.

1757
01:45:08,993 --> 01:45:10,564
If it weren't for you,
he would have jumped off

1758
01:45:10,599 --> 01:45:12,566
that bridge years earlier.
(SHUDDERS)

1759
01:45:13,162 --> 01:45:14,535
Nobody could've saved him.

1760
01:45:14,570 --> 01:45:16,438
Believe me,
I spent years trying.

1761
01:45:17,067 --> 01:45:18,704
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

1762
01:45:20,477 --> 01:45:23,071
I don't think I believe anyone
can save anyone.

1763
01:45:29,552 --> 01:45:30,617
She saved him.

1764
01:45:33,083 --> 01:45:37,184
She wasn't trying to hurt him.
She was trying to help him.

1765
01:45:37,219 --> 01:45:39,153
Who are you talking about?

1766
01:45:39,188 --> 01:45:41,628
He's going home. She did that.

1767
01:45:42,895 --> 01:45:44,994
Charlie...
She didn't do it to hurt him,

1768
01:45:45,799 --> 01:45:48,030
she did it to send him home.

1769
01:45:49,605 --> 01:45:51,935
Do you feel light-headed?
Charlie, look at me.

1770
01:45:51,970 --> 01:45:54,575
She was trying to help him.
Who?

1771
01:45:55,644 --> 01:45:59,173
Ellie. She was trying
to help him,

1772
01:45:59,208 --> 01:46:01,109
She just wanted
to send him home.

1773
01:46:03,817 --> 01:46:07,654
Do you ever get
the feeling that...

1774
01:46:09,559 --> 01:46:12,923
people are incapable
of not caring?

1775
01:46:18,502 --> 01:46:19,930
People are amazing.

1776
01:46:21,505 --> 01:46:22,537
(DOOR OPENS)

1777
01:46:23,639 --> 01:46:24,704
What the fuck did you do?

1778
01:46:27,841 --> 01:46:28,873
What's wrong with him?

1779
01:46:31,042 --> 01:46:32,041
He's dying.

1780
01:46:33,946 --> 01:46:35,616
So, call someone.

1781
01:46:35,651 --> 01:46:37,486
(SOFTLY) No.
Call a fucking ambulance!

1782
01:46:38,115 --> 01:46:39,114
Liz.

1783
01:46:40,117 --> 01:46:41,523
I need to talk to him.

1784
01:46:41,558 --> 01:46:42,788
I'm not leaving you
alone with him.

1785
01:46:42,823 --> 01:46:44,251
I need to talk to him alone.

1786
01:46:44,286 --> 01:46:45,494
(SOFTLY) Liz.

1787
01:46:48,290 --> 01:46:49,531
Please.

1788
01:46:54,098 --> 01:46:55,097
Okay.

1789
01:47:01,710 --> 01:47:03,512
(STIFLED SOBBING)

1790
01:47:12,853 --> 01:47:13,984
LIZ: I'll call someone.

1791
01:47:16,923 --> 01:47:17,922
Charlie.

1792
01:47:21,059 --> 01:47:22,663
I'll wait downstairs.

1793
01:47:30,134 --> 01:47:32,134
Why did you do that?
(CHUCKLING) What?

1794
01:47:34,578 --> 01:47:35,577
I failed.

1795
01:47:36,206 --> 01:47:37,810
It's a really good essay.

1796
01:47:37,845 --> 01:47:40,780
Are you just trying
to screw me over
one last time?

1797
01:47:40,815 --> 01:47:42,815
I don't care about you!
I don't care
that you're dying.

1798
01:47:42,850 --> 01:47:44,179
Do you want me to fail
out of high school?

1799
01:47:44,214 --> 01:47:46,181
Is that why you did this?
I didn't write it.

1800
01:47:46,216 --> 01:47:48,722
This is the essay
that you gave me yesterday.

1801
01:47:48,757 --> 01:47:50,592
You didn't read it.
I don't need to read it.

1802
01:47:51,056 --> 01:47:52,055
Read it.

1803
01:47:56,193 --> 01:47:58,094
(BREATHING LABORIOUSLY)

1804
01:48:03,673 --> 01:48:04,672
This is...

1805
01:48:06,071 --> 01:48:07,609
I know what this is.

1806
01:48:07,644 --> 01:48:09,710
(CHUCKLING) I knew you would.

1807
01:48:10,779 --> 01:48:11,778
I wrote this.

1808
01:48:14,046 --> 01:48:15,782
You never forget anything.

1809
01:48:15,817 --> 01:48:18,686
I wrote this in eighth grade
for English. Why do you...

1810
01:48:18,721 --> 01:48:20,787
"And I felt saddest of all

1811
01:48:20,822 --> 01:48:23,053
"when I read
the boring chapters

1812
01:48:23,088 --> 01:48:25,924
"that were only descriptions
of whales,

1813
01:48:25,959 --> 01:48:28,960
"because I knew that

1814
01:48:28,995 --> 01:48:32,634
"the author
was just trying to save us

1815
01:48:32,669 --> 01:48:34,933
"from his own sad story,

1816
01:48:36,937 --> 01:48:38,805
"just for a little while."

1817
01:48:38,840 --> 01:48:40,609
(CHARLIE CHUCKLES)
(SNIFFLES)

1818
01:48:40,644 --> 01:48:43,304
How do you have this?
Your mother,

1819
01:48:43,339 --> 01:48:45,372
she sent it to me
four years ago.

1820
01:48:45,407 --> 01:48:48,144
I wanted to know
how you were doing in school,

1821
01:48:48,179 --> 01:48:49,948
and she sent it.

1822
01:48:49,983 --> 01:48:53,215
And it's the best essay
I've ever read.

1823
01:48:53,250 --> 01:48:54,953
(SOBBING) Why are you
fucking with me like this?

1824
01:48:55,923 --> 01:48:56,922
I'm not.

1825
01:48:57,991 --> 01:49:01,355
(SOBS) I'm sorry
for leaving you.

1826
01:49:03,700 --> 01:49:07,097
I was in love, and...

1827
01:49:07,132 --> 01:49:09,000
(INHALES LABORIOUSLY)
I left you behind.

1828
01:49:10,938 --> 01:49:14,302
You did not deserve that.
I don't...

1829
01:49:14,337 --> 01:49:16,777
I don't know how
(INHALES LABORIOUSLY)

1830
01:49:16,812 --> 01:49:18,713
I could have done such a thing.

1831
01:49:18,748 --> 01:49:21,012
You're so beautiful. (SOBS)

1832
01:49:21,047 --> 01:49:22,948
You're amazing.
Stop.

1833
01:49:25,249 --> 01:49:27,986
You're amazing.
(SOBS)

1834
01:49:28,824 --> 01:49:30,956
This essay is amazing.

1835
01:49:32,729 --> 01:49:35,191
This essay is you.

1836
01:49:35,226 --> 01:49:36,357
Stop saying that.

1837
01:49:36,392 --> 01:49:39,998
This essay is you.
Stop saying that!

1838
01:49:40,033 --> 01:49:43,133
You're the best thing
I have ever done.

1839
01:49:43,168 --> 01:49:44,706
(CRIES OUT IN PAIN)

1840
01:49:44,741 --> 01:49:46,840
(COUGHS)
What's the matter?

1841
01:49:46,875 --> 01:49:47,907
Ellie!

1842
01:49:47,942 --> 01:49:49,876
No. Okay, I can't
be here right now.

1843
01:49:49,911 --> 01:49:51,273
I have to go.
You're perfect.

1844
01:49:51,880 --> 01:49:53,011
You'll be happy.

1845
01:49:54,344 --> 01:49:57,213
You care about people. (SOBS)

1846
01:49:57,248 --> 01:49:58,885
The ambulance is coming,
they'll help you.

1847
01:49:58,920 --> 01:50:00,348
No. They won't.

1848
01:50:00,383 --> 01:50:03,252
You're going to the hospital.
No.

1849
01:50:03,287 --> 01:50:05,320
You just need surgery,
or something!

1850
01:50:05,355 --> 01:50:09,291
Read it to me. (GRUNTS)
What?

1851
01:50:09,326 --> 01:50:12,833
(STRUGGLING)
If you want to help,
read it to me.

1852
01:50:13,836 --> 01:50:16,804
You'll help if you read it.

1853
01:50:16,839 --> 01:50:19,103
You asshole.
You fat fucking asshole!

1854
01:50:19,138 --> 01:50:20,170
You'll help...
Fuck you.

1855
01:50:20,205 --> 01:50:21,468
Please.
Fuck you!

1856
01:50:21,503 --> 01:50:22,777
Ellie!

1857
01:50:26,211 --> 01:50:27,408
(SOBBING) Daddy, please.

1858
01:50:35,451 --> 01:50:36,989
(ELLIE SNIFFLING)

1859
01:50:46,396 --> 01:50:50,002
"In the amazing book,<i> Moby Dick,</i>
by the author Herman Melville,

1860
01:50:50,037 --> 01:50:52,939
"the author recounts his story
of being at sea.

1861
01:50:52,974 --> 01:50:54,303
"In the first part of his book,

1862
01:50:54,338 --> 01:50:56,338
"the author,
calling himself Ishmael,

1863
01:50:56,373 --> 01:50:58,109
"is in a small seaside town

1864
01:50:58,144 --> 01:51:01,178
"and he is sharing a bed
with a man named Queequeg.

1865
01:51:01,213 --> 01:51:03,510
"The author and Queequeg
go to church

1866
01:51:03,545 --> 01:51:04,984
"and later set out on a ship

1867
01:51:05,019 --> 01:51:06,447
"captained by a pirate
named Ahab,

1868
01:51:06,482 --> 01:51:07,888
"who is missing a leg,

1869
01:51:08,924 --> 01:51:10,517
"and very much wants
to kill the whale

1870
01:51:10,552 --> 01:51:13,795
"which is named Moby Dick,
and which is white.

1871
01:51:13,830 --> 01:51:15,830
"In the course of the book,

1872
01:51:15,865 --> 01:51:18,228
"the pirate Ahab encounters
many hardships."
(GRUNTS)

1873
01:51:18,263 --> 01:51:21,770
"His entire life is set
around trying to kill
a certain whale."

1874
01:51:21,805 --> 01:51:23,332
(PANTING)
"I think this is sad

1875
01:51:23,367 --> 01:51:25,037
"because this whale
doesn't have any emotions,

1876
01:51:25,072 --> 01:51:27,468
"and doesn't know how bad
Ahab wants to kill him.

1877
01:51:27,503 --> 01:51:28,843
"He's just a poor

1878
01:51:29,373 --> 01:51:32,011
"big animal."

1879
01:51:32,046 --> 01:51:35,014
(CHARLIE GASPS FOR BREATH)

1880
01:51:35,049 --> 01:51:37,115
"And I feel bad
for Ahab as well,

1881
01:51:37,150 --> 01:51:38,787
"because he thinks
that his life will be better

1882
01:51:38,822 --> 01:51:40,349
"if he can just kill this whale,

1883
01:51:40,384 --> 01:51:42,219
"but in reality,
it won't help him at all."

1884
01:51:43,255 --> 01:51:45,860
(CHARLIE BREATHING SHALLOWLY)

1885
01:51:45,895 --> 01:51:48,423
"I was very saddened
by this book,

1886
01:51:48,458 --> 01:51:50,458
"and I felt many emotions
for the characters.

1887
01:51:53,298 --> 01:51:54,803
"And I felt saddest of all

1888
01:51:54,838 --> 01:51:56,035
"when I read
the boring chapters

1889
01:51:56,070 --> 01:51:58,103
"that were only descriptions
of whales,

1890
01:51:58,138 --> 01:52:00,270
"because I knew
that the author was just trying

1891
01:52:00,305 --> 01:52:02,140
"to save us
from his own sad story,

1892
01:52:03,011 --> 01:52:04,109
"just for a little while."

1893
01:52:04,144 --> 01:52:05,506
(GASPING)

1894
01:52:05,541 --> 01:52:07,112
(WAVES LAPPING)

1895
01:52:07,147 --> 01:52:09,147
(EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1896
01:52:12,152 --> 01:52:14,053
"This book made me think
about my own life,

1897
01:52:15,419 --> 01:52:17,925
"and then it made me
feel glad for my..."

1898
01:52:17,960 --> 01:52:19,454
(BREATHING ERRATICALLY)

1899
01:52:21,392 --> 01:52:22,457
(LAUGHING)

1900
01:52:22,492 --> 01:52:23,524
(CHUCKLES)

1901
01:52:23,559 --> 01:52:25,229
(MUSIC SWELLS)

1902
01:52:25,264 --> 01:52:26,263
(GASPS)

1903
01:52:34,471 --> 01:52:36,075
(WAVES CRASHING)

1904
01:52:37,408 --> 01:52:39,947
(EMOTIONAL MUSIC CONTINUES)

1905
01:54:01,195 --> 01:54:03,195
(GRIM MUSIC PLAYING)

1906
01:54:12,371 --> 01:54:14,371
(WAVES CRASHING GENTLY)